Bridezillas...

I Promise Not To Become A Bridezilla. I Do...
With Love, Zee

I spent another weekend parked on my couch watching tv marathons. I'm cool with knowing that I'm a homebody. After commuting to work all weeklong, I just want to stay at home and relax. I'll clean up a bit, wash some clothes, and get groceries, but afterwards it's on with the relaxing. VH1's Charm school's 4 or 5 consecutive showing of shows really doesn't constitute a full scale marathon. But the WE channel's Bridezillas showing of at least 12-16 hours does.

I didn't plan to watch Bridezillas. And I didn't watch it all day long. I did an off and on schedule. I just got drawn in to watching that drama. Some of it real. Some of it manufactured. But what I couldn't get over is how much everyday folks were paying out for weddings. Yeah, it's their business how much they spend. But why are everyday folks (working folks like myself who aren't millionaires) spending six figures or close to it for a one day celebration of a wedding? Most of these folks will end up spending the first 10 years of their marriage paying off these bills.

Aside from the money thrown away, I can't believe how some of these women were acting. The worst case was of Marsha and Archie. Marsha treated her fiance' like dirt. She was cursing at everyone. What was she not cursing about? Marsha was just plain nasty. And worst of all she brought Archie to tears when she threatened to cancel the wedding the night before. Yeah, she had homeboy loudly crying like a baby talking about, "She don't love me!!!!," in the car when she pulled her stunt. I just can't even believe that he married her after all of that. It would have been totally understandable if he had pulled her bluff and walked away when she canceled it. It would have at least taught her about respecting other people. When Archie's family and friends viewed this show on tv, I bet they were embarrassed and probably upset to find out how Marsha actually acted and the circus she put on at Archie's expense. I wonder if they are still married. If so, we know who is wearing the pants in that family.

It's been my experience that the biggest weddings bring on the biggest dramas. There is the drama with the bride vs. her bridesmaids. The bride picked a zillion bridesmaids and expected them with their different body shapes to all wear a same design of a dress, hairdo, and shoes. Well, when you've got someone 4'11" and someone 6 feet tall, it's not all going to look alike. But oh well. Then there are the requests for the wedding guests to leave their kids at home. I guess it never occurred to some brides that their guests are really going into their own pockets to pay for attending by paying travel related costs such as airfare, taxi rides, hotel rooms, food, clothes for the wedding, hairdos, shoes, the bride's and groom's wedding gift, etc. And now they have to find someone to take care of their kids for a weekend. Well, it ain't free. They have to pay for it. Brides need to also remember that older wedding guests are on fixed incomes and other younger guests are busy paying mortgages, daycare costs, car payments, and other bills. So just because the bride is willing to pay "x" amount of money for a wedding doesn't mean that the wedding guests are. I guess that's why it would be cheaper for some would-be wedding guests to decline the invitation and just send a gift. It would be way cheaper.

I don't know where the whole concept of "It's My Day...I'll Do What I Darn Well Feel Like It!!!" weddings came from. I've heard older folks say that they got married after church service on Sunday. She wore her best dress and he his best suit. And it was over. Now that's the basics. And then I've heard others say that they had a nice, small church wedding years ago. But now we're onto the "It's My Day Darn It!!!" weddings. I know that folks won't agree with me calling this kind of behavior selfish, but really, what's more important? A day celebration or the marriage itself? I'd rather focus on trying to figure out whether this man is the right one for me and whether I'm the right woman for him. Maybe I'm just a little bit more practical.

Make It Last Forever...



One of the most beautiful weddings I've ever attended happened about 12 years ago. My friend and her fiance' wanted to get married but had no immediate plans for a while, because they thought that they could not afford to get married. People could clearly see that they were a couple. They almost resembled a married one if you didn't know already. So their pastor approached them about getting married and having the people of the church to donate their services for food and decorations. All my friend had to do was purchase her own dress and wedding cake. So you know it was on and popping from there. I promised to attend.

My friends' wedding took place on a Friday evening at their church. It was her second and his first. Her mother was her maid of honor and his father was his best man. Although they wore nice clothes, there were no over the top outfits worn. The church members did a beautiful job of decorating the church. And the church was packed. She was an hour late. Folks like her who don't normally wear make-up and fancy hairstyles have a hard time on days like this. Later on she said that she had a time trying to style her own her hair, but my friend reassured her fiance that she was coming. Yeah, he called her to make sure he wasn't getting stood up. And eventually, she came. As they were saying their vows, I remembered how precious their wedding was. It wasn't financially extravagant. They weren't trying to impress folks. They weren't trying to pretend to be someone they weren't. They were making a commitment in front of family and friends. My friends are just as much married as the folks who paid out close to $100,000 for their weddings. I just hope that if I ever get married, that I'll just have a small yet beautiful one. We'll use our money to put towards a nice house. That's the way I want to say, "I Do."