Great Expectations: Having It All...

The SuperWomen Have Left The Building...

A couple of years ago on a Friday night, I didn't have anything planned. I was just going to spend a quiet night alone at home. So, of course I gave into my tv obsession. However, I'm not really one to watch primetime shows. So, I turned to the local PBS station to watch a women's political round table discussion in which they discuss various issues. On the weekends the DC area is full of roundtable discussion shows on top of the nationally televised ones. This area knows how to spin the heck out of any story large or small.

Can You Really Have It All???...

The round table show consisted of women from different backgrounds (Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, young, middle age, conservatives, and liberals). The topic of discussion dealt with "Having It All," which meant having a successful home life and work life. Right off the bat, the youngest woman on the panel, eagerly presented her point of view about the women's revolution that has allowed women to have it all. She was reminding me of that 1980's Enjoli perfume commercial of the woman bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan. There's nothing like a peppy, over-the-top, cheerleader type to speak of something she has no experience with. So, of course, her response was greeted with rolled eyes, sighs, and "why don't you just shut up" dismissive looks by the other panelists who were older women. At one point they looked like they could have collectively pimp slapped Miss Peppy. But they actually probably weren't mad at her. They were probably a little annoyed that after taping the show, they would have to go home to wash the dishes or go to a PTA meeting to discuss why little Timmy hasn't been doing his homework or have to complete a report for work by Monday morning. Reality sure knows how to bite that backside. One lady patiently told Miss Peppy that she use to believe that bullcrap back when she was a spring chicken in law school dreaming of future days when she could come home after work in court to cook a 10-course meal for her family. It's true that a woman can become an astronaut, but most likely she's still concerned that her kids are being well fed and that the house is clean. The other ladies further explained that the "Having It All" concept was nothing more than a pipedream until they redefined "Having It All."

"Having It All": Pipedream or Achieveable Goal???...

This show had me thinking about my own life. My single friends and I use to have conversations about getting married. But with all these long-winded telephone calls, I don't think we ever discussed how life could be after we got married. All the emphasis was on the wedding ceremony itself, with very little thought about the post-wedding life. This had me thinking that this could become a "going from the frying pan to the skillet" type of situation. Being single has its has own set of challenges at times. Many of us single ladies have had to purchase cars and homes alone without the help of a spouse. It's been a tough haul and I imagined that things would have been smoother and easier had I been married, but that's not necessarily so. Some of my married women friends have complained that after a full day's work, they are having to shuttle the kids to football, soccer or dance practice; pick up the groceries; pick up the dry cleaning; cook dinner; load the dishwasher; wash the clothes; help the kids with homework; give the babies a bath; and get the children ready for bed, plus look cute for the hubby.

So, What Is The Answer???...

The focus of the women's round table discussion wasn't so much on the men, but on the blurred responsibilities and expectations concerning the modern day woman. Men and women are a bit unclear about what their roles are. Some men may tend to take a passive role in the home when it comes to house chores, because they were brought up to think that some chores are considered to be feminine in nature. And some women may out of guilt tend to do more housework to make up for working outside of the home. But really. Come on. There are only 24 hours in the day. And am I courting disaster and misery by praying to the good Lord for a husband everyday? Is this what I'm asking to be brought upon me and am I ready? Am I capable of being a great wife and mother? And will my future hubby understand that he's very much needed to make the family work and become successful? I favor a team approach to tackling everything, but then again I've heard from others that sometimes you don't find out what kind of spouse you've got until way after you've said the "I do's." I just hope that we women and men can find some common ground for the good of the family.

Side Note: Why did I see Miss Peppy in the capacity of a political correspondent the other day on tv discussing the Page incident in the C.ongress? And of course, she was off the mark taking up for those who let this go on for years at a time. I need to take up a collection to buy her some flash cards.