Singing Happy Holidays...

Have A Very Merry Christmas And A Happy New Year!!!...

Arranged Marriages...

Could We Even Consider This???...

A couple of weekends ago, I got caught up watching tv. I usually don't know beforehand that I would get so taken in. This interferes with me doing my chores and running errands. I know. Excuses. Excuses. I started to get ready to go out, but ended up sitting down to watch several shows. I started watching Fat Camp or something like that on MTV. Then I watched several episodes of Real Life. One that I found to be most interesting was the one about arranged marriages. Three individuals were featured. One actually went through with the marriage. A few hours later, I watched "Bend It Like Beckham," which also touched upon the idea of arranged marriages. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have watched that movie. But since I was already parked on the couch, I was thinking, "Why not?" The movie was actually pretty entertaining.

For the most part, people here in the U.S. scoff at the idea of having family and friends find their future mates. They seem to think that such thinking and way of life still exists in backwards culture. I disagree with the scoffing part. I happen to see the value in a modified approach to arranged marriages.

I know for a fact that the world of dating is quite wild out here. It's hard to discern who is telling the truth. Who is married? Who has children? Are they custodial parents? If not, do they pay child support like they are supposed to? Are they in debt? Have they been in trouble with the law? Are they employed? People may laugh at me for wanting to ask these questions. But it seems like to me that anyone interested in a serious relationship should want to know the answers to these questions, too. But who has the time and the energy get this information without having to hire a private detective? Bump that. Why not let your family and friends (the ones you can trust and actually care about you) put you in touch with some eligibles? It sure would cut out some of the riffraff. *shrug* Why should we have to tolerate a drunken dude breathing on our necks for us to get the 411? I don't do the club scene. Do you really have to worry about the cute guy at the grocery store or gas station calling you? Did you give him your real telephone number? But you know what I mean. There is a lot of trial and error out here meeting folks.

What I like most about what I saw in the tv show was that the families, who moved to the U.S., simply brought the eligible men to the attention of their daughters and friends. No one was forced into marriage. The parents weren't even ashamed to say/demand that they wanted doctors or other serious professionals for their grown daughters. By the time, they had a dinner party or get together, the grown daughters had a good bit of information about their possible suitors. They knew their religion. Some had mutual friends. But most importantly, they could feel a little bit of comfort meeting men that their family and friends put their stamp of approval on. Could you imagine being fixed up with some real winners? I had the chance a while ago. A family friend was trying really hard to fix me up with a couple of fine brothers, who had something going for them. It's really a shame that I was painfully shy back then. More recently, another family friend asked to introduce me to his fraternity brother. I think I will agree to it this time around. It couldn't hurt. In fact, it might be a good idea. Of course, I will still have to put the work and the effort into still researching things myself. It's just good to have some more eyes looking out for me. I remember a trusted male friend telling me to stay away from a particular guy, because he had several babies (with a couple on the way) and baby momma drama scattered along the countryside. It turned out to be true. ZabaSearch doesn't keep a listing of facts like that.

If you are married, how did you meet your husband/wife? Did you meet him/her on your own or did you receive a little of help from your family and friends? If you are single, how do you prefer to meet dates?

The Grinch-trina Who Stole Christmas...

Green Looks Beautiful On Me...

Why should I have to do things I don't want to do? Why do I have to make other folks' dreams come true at the expense of my own feelings? Why should I feel guilty and have to make up lies to say no?

Hee Hee. I am happy to report that yesterday I declined an invitation to a Christmas party at my job. When the invitation first came to me, I was happy that someone had considered me at all. Those good feelings stayed in place until I remembered attending a going away party for a co-worker earlier this year. Boy, was that thang there painful. We all sat silently around a table trying really hard to make small talk. "How about those Orioles?" "The weather is beautiful today?" "Oh, that's a pretty blouse." Now, I'm saying, "Whatever!"

I think it best that I not go to the party. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings either. We're really not friends at the office. They might think we are, but I know better. I like to maintain a cool working relationship with folks so that our signals won't get mixed. Let's keep things where they are. We come to work to do the work and get paid. Perhaps, I can take the money I would have paid towards the party to donate to a charity. That's a thought.

Okay, I'm running late for work AGAIN. *hee hee* Take care and have a great day... :-)

Thinking of the Redskins Family...

Sean Taylor 1983-2007

I hope that everyone had a great Thanksgiving filled with great food and great company with family and friends. For the most part, my holiday was pretty good. I left town a little later than I had wished Thanksgiving afternoon and drove up on a multiple-car accident minutes after it happened. I wasn't involved in it. As I drove by I couldn't help but feel for the those involved. Other than that, my Thanksgiving holiday weekend was uneventful. Even the drive along I-95 was smooth. I was just thankful to be thankful.

For a moment there, I thought things would stay like that. Uneventful. Then the Washington, DC metro area received the news that Sean Taylor (#21) had been shot in Florida. Few details have been released to the media. All we know is that there was an apparent home invasion at Taylor's home and that the intruder shot him. And since very little information was released, I thought that he would somehow be okay. Then early this morning, Channel 9 News reported Taylor's death. Crime is so out of control.

I'm really not a football fan or a sports fan period. However, all the men I know are huge football fans. In fact, growing up all I really heard about were the Redskins back before North Carolina had a team. Fastforward the years, now I live in the area and my brother practically lives in the backyard of FEDEX field. My brother and Dad have been to the Redskins games. And I can remember the Redskins winning the superbowl shortly after I moved to the DC area. So, although I don't know much about sports, I do know that the Redskins family extends far around the DC metro region. We love them. And right now it's hurting really badly that Taylor was gunned down in the prime of his life. The young man was only 24 years old. When I first heard the news, I didn't really think about whether Taylor would play NFL football again. I was just wondering what his family was going through and how they were holding up. That's why I just can't understand this whole crime foolishness. There's nothing but a sense of helplessness. What are we to do? Well, I'm just about speechless. I want to extend my sincere condolences to the Taylor family and the Redskins organization at this time in the loss of Sean Taylor.

I've got to get ready for work now. Take care and have a blessed day.

Happy Thanksgiving....

As we all prepare to travel or stay home to give thanks to the Lord, I just wanted to type this brief blog entry to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving Holiday!!! I said the same thing last year and the year before, but I want to add one more thing. In the spirit of giving, if you are hosting a dinner and are aware of someone who may be lonely this time of the year, please think about inviting them over to let them know that someone cares.

The Cubicle Chronicles: Part 7

Misery Loves Company...

Good morning everyone. I'm going to start blogging again more regularly and will even try to add some structure along the way. I'm not quite sure about which direction I plan to take, but I'm thinking about including a personal finance piece on Tuesdays. There is definitely a need. I won't dip back into my old Econ textbooks from college to reveal any supply and demand charts, however, I plan to discuss the everyday money issues that we all face. I need to pull some ideas together. In case folks don't know, the country may be headed towards a recession, are you prepared? Do you know what a recession is? Think on it for a bit.

I haven't been writing about the happenings of my office in a while. I don't like to dwell on it too much, because I'm just trying to deal and cope like everyone else. What can I say? Bills got to be paid. Therefore, I have to go to work. Most folks have to. So I won't trip. But something funny happened to me yesterday. A co-worker walked up to me and said that he was in the dog house with me. Say what? Rewind the recording. He thought he could seek a comfort zone in me hoping that we could vent together. I don't think so. I work alone.

I had to explain the difference to him. They stopped inviting him to meetings recently. I get invited, but I prefer not to go unless it's something really important. My office likes to meet too much. We meet to discuss another meeting. We've got pre-game meetings and post-game meetings. It's a wonder how any work gets done. I told Mr. Co-Worker that everybody knows that I'm a little frosty, because I had been passed over for promotions in the past. The new supervisors have tried to right that wrong by giving me a bonus and giving me something that resembles a promotion with more money. Let's not get crazy. I'm not lovey dovey with the supervisors. We just have an understanding. I get the work done. We're cool. Mr. Co-Worker just recently tore his drawls on the fence of life at work. What did he do? He bragged about telling the boss off and making her cry, because he was upset about how she handled a situation. **Clutch the pearls**



Is His Bark Worse Than His Bite? I'm Not Trying To Find Out...

Now I'm all for vocalizing one's concerns, but there is a thing called going too far. All I've got to do is think about my mortgage and that pretty much puts things in perspective for me. Call me a punk. *lol* I don't care. Sista over here got to eat. So if I feel like I'm about to get upset, I'll go out to lunch or walk around the building or leave a little early. It rarely happens. That works for me. But once you start to shout and curse out your boss, what makes you think that you won't get written up? Why is my co-worker so surprised? I know he was frustrated as we all can get. But really, I'm not trying to be a part of that act. As far as I'm concerned, it's every man for himself at work. I've got to tend to my own concerns (bills, bills, bills) rather than getting caught up with other folks' problems. I can' t get involved with every uprising in the office.

Every time I see Mr. Co-Worker, I try to get away and fast. A few weeks ago, I sprained my ankle. You should have seen me limping down the hall trying to get away from Mr. Co-Worker. Looked like I was doing the cabbage patch. I'm not alone. The other co-workers try to get away from Mr. Co-Worker too. Once he gets you in a corner, you're trapped. He's going to get loud, stay a long time, and pretty much let everybody know in the office consisting of more than 100 people that you're in cahoots with him. He's not only badmouthing the bosses. He's badmouthing other folks who don't have anything to do with his situation all. He just perceives that anyone in good graces with the bosses to be suspect. It's like dog doo. Why can't people wipe their shoes on their own carpet? Being the wimp that I can sometimes be, I take pity on folks, listen to them, and say a few encouraging words. I hate that enabler role. So every now and then another co-worker will rescue me by calling and pretending to make me report to a very important meeting. What can I say? Someone loves me at the office or at least cares. But catch this. That's not the only personnel situation going on at the office. I just wished those walking volcanoes would realize that this is not the best time to be without a job given this economy.

Well, I better get ready for work and get ready to play the office therapist. Have a great day!!! ... :-)

The New Season of Run's House...

My Favorite Reality Show

Out of all the reality shows and tv that I watch period by far, I can say that Run's House is my favorite show. Unlike most reality shows that live off of shock and awe, this show can be pleasantly watched with the whole family in the room. I guess some people may tune in to see how rich folks live. I personally tune in because I love the way the family members interact with each other. It's good to see positive images of a black family on tv for a change. We've seen the Simmons family through a lot of ups and downs. We've seen Angela graduate from high school, Vanessa try to land acting gigs, JoJo become a young man, Diggy and Russy pull their comical antics; and we've seen Rev. Run and his wife, Justine, weather one of their roughest times when losing a baby. I thought for sure that the show would have ended behind the rough times, but they surprised us and continued on in such a way that could only make you love them more. Be sure to check for the new season of Run's House on October 25, 2007, on MTV on 10 p.m.

The Salt And Pepa Show...

My Mic Sounds Nice...
My Mic Sounds Nice...Check 1...
My Mic Sounds Nice...Check 2...
My Mic Sounds Nice...Check 3...

You know what? VH1 had shown so many sneak peeks of this show leading up to its first airing that we had seen most of everything except for the last 10 minutes of the show. So, if you missed the first show, you didn't miss much. Just go to VH1's website to get caught up. With this show, I wasn't too surprised about anything. Salt happily has settled down with her husband and kids. Pepa wants to recapture the good feelings that the group once felt at the height of their success. Spinderella is nowhere to be seen. VH1 tripped and fell. They are so wrong for not including Spinderella. But anywho more or less, I watch the show because it's like a comfort food. Salt and Pepa are of my time and represent important events in my life. My Mic Sounds Nice came out my senior year in high school. Push It came out when I was in college. Salt and Pepa's collaboration with EnVogue for Whatta Man came out around the time when I first started working on my first real job after college. Those were the days. Now I can be driving to work and hear one of those songs and can all of a sudden remember all the rhymes. Let's see what Salt and Pepa will be up to next week on their show. It comes on Mondays at 10 p.m on VH1.

The "Why Did I Get Married" Movie Is #1!!!...

You Are Cordially Invited To Take Part In This Discussion...

There's been a lot of buzz about Tyler Perry's new movie for good reason. Why Did I Get Married is #1 at the box office this weekend pulling in an estimated $21.5 million. The second best thing to do behind actually seeing the movie happens to be discussing it with others who have seen it. However, if you have not seen it yet and don't want your viewing experience to be spoiled, turn away at this point.

Intro:
Going in to this movie, I had a very good feeling about it. I had enough of a good feeling to get off from work a little early to make it to the last matinee show of the evening on Friday. I could tell that the other people were just as excited as I was judging from the way we strangers easily held conversations among each other as we stood in line to purchase our tickets and movie snacks. Could we ever have imagined that the mastermind behind stage plays recorded on grainy VHS tapes would develop into a multi-talented force to contend with in the world of entertainment? I'm amazed how Tyler Perry keeps reinventing himself.



The Characters: Let's review a brief description of each character to bring us up to speed. Here it goes:

Dianne and Terry played by Sharon Leal and Tyler Perry: Dianne was the attorney who was attached to her work so much so that she barely had time to notice her husband. So when they mentioned that they had not done the "couple thing" in months, quite a few murmurs could be heard in the viewing audience. Terry was the pediatrician aspiring to add more kids to the family.

Patricia and Gavin played by Janet Jackson and Malik Yoba: Patricia was the pyschologist and book writer who was preparing to receive a very important award for her work. Gavin, the architect, was the loving and supportive husband. They struggled to deal with the lingering feelings of guilt and anger surrounding the accidental death of their child.

Angela and Marcus played by Tasha Smith and Michael Jai White: Angela was the hotheaded salon owner. I think everybody knows at least one person who acts like Angela. The Angela type is a loudmouth, in your face, won't back down, doesn't care who gets hurt, will get her point across first type of person. But she's not all bad. Her mouth and over the top actions sometimes come in handy. I personally like the way she NFL fullback-style blocked her hubby from carrying the luggage for the single chick who only showed up to make trouble for Sheila and the other ladies. Angela sent Trina's bag all over the ground rightfully so. For that, we love Angela. I just wished Angela had treated the hubby better. Speaking of him, he was the former football player who played the role of verbal punching bag for the first half of the film. He never could seem to get a word in edgewise between his current wife and his ex. But he managed to man up eventually. I guess he had to snap a little bit, knowing that his wife wasn't the only one creeping.

Sheila and Mike played by Jill Scott and Richard T. Jones: Sheila was a trail of tears from the beginning to the end of the movie. I've always wondered why some women take so much abuse over the years. Shux, I would have been done with her man when she got removed from the plane and was forced to drive all the way to the mountains. Her husband, Mike, was as verbally abusive as one could get. He acted like a schoolyard bully piling on the insults about Sheila's weight. Mikey really should have been bashed in the head with the champagne bottle much earlier or at least slapped one good time. He never showed a bit of concern about Sheila until they divorced and she married that cute Sheriff.

Trina played by Denise Boutte: What nerve of a sideline chick to join in on a couples' retreat?

Troy played by Lamman Rucker: Boy was he a relief to Sheila and to the women in the audience at the movie. He wasn't just a cutie. He provided some real sensible advice. He flatly let Sheila know that her low self-esteem and self-directed insults weren't particularly attractive. What can we say? She upgraded to the right man.

My Observations and Thoughts About The Movie...

I don't feel the need to beat around the bush. I can tell you right off that bat that I give this movie high marks. No, I'm not a professional movie critic. But I will explain my review of the movie. First of all, I felt like that movie was universal. It spoke to people from all walks of life no matter the race, culture, gender, age group, or economic status. And it wasn't a bonafide chickflick that men had to avoid like the plague. There was a little something in there for everybody. It doesn't matter whether a couple lives in a mansion or a shack, because anyone can have marital or dating-relationship problems.

The movie started out very calm and very unassuming of the fiascos that would rear their ugly heads as the movie progressed. It was quite refreshing to hear how four couples who met in college manage to come together for a reunion annually to improve their marriages. The characters were polished with their well-developed careers and well-to-do lives. These were some together folks living some together lives with the exception of a couple of people. Therefore, early on in the film it put us on track to view Mike and Marcus as the dogs and Angela as the loudmouth. In the flip of the script, Mike turned everything around and pointed out everyone's flaws in an attempt to take the heat off of his neck. Boy did he say a mouth full. By the time, they got up from the dinner table, none of the couples were talking. Nobody was left in the clear except that cute Sheriff. *lol* Everybody was mad. Even the goodie two shoes characters were left with bruised images. Was Patricia really all that together? Was Gavin really the supportive husband? How could Dianne keep that secret from Terry? And how could Terry have paternity questions? The movie left the audience wondering how the characters were going deal with their problems as extensive as they were.

The movie could have very well ended with Mike being knocked the fool out on the floor. But I think Perry wanted to do more than acknowledge that problems exist in marriages; he wanted to show how couples could explore solutions. Of course, a bunch of jaded critics may come along and dismiss this movie for wrapping up its loose ends as if this only happens in a perfect world. I beg to differ. Quite a few characters had to let their egos go and make themselves vulnerable to more effectively communicate with their spouses. If Angela could speak sweetly to her husband, it surely made it sound possible for the others to overcome their problems. For once I was glad to see that sisters and brothers weren't at each other throats. I'm just glad that the movie showed us in a more positive light, since many of us actually live that way. One thing is for sure. I plan to buy this movie when it comes out on DVD. Tyler Perry is winning me over more and more.

Let The Discussion Begin...

Pull up a chair and make yourself welcome. Post your review of the movie in the comments section. Did you like it or not? Are there any particular scenes that interested you? Did you have a favorite actor? What could have made the movie better? Or were you satisfied just the way it was?


==============================

Reminder Note: The Salt and Pepa and The Irv Gotti shows will premiere on VH1 tonight starting at 10 p.m. EST.

Why Did I See That Movie???...

I Think This One Is Worth Seeing...

As with movies, I either can count on one hand how many times I go to the movies in on year or how many times I have walked out of a movie thinking why did I see that movie???...

Yeah, I make it no secret how I feel about wasting money. Going to the movies will take a chunk out of your wallet. The movie ticket itself costs about $8 or more. Plus add the cost of a small box popcorn which costs about $5. Then add on the soda at another $5. And then candy, if you don't buy it at the store. It can cost $3. Shux, that can add up to a little more than $20 spent for couple of hours. Shux, I think I do better by waiting until the movie comes out on DVD. At least I can watch it over and over in the comfort of my home for one low price. I can move forward and backward if I miss the dialogue. I can watch parts of the movie and come back to it when I feel it. Plus, as I watch the movie I can eat a full scale dinner or have nothing more than water which won't cost me an arm and a leg.

However, this time around I'm going to try to support Tyler Perry. I've seen some of his plays by tape, and never have seen any of his theater movies. And I wasn't really able to get into his tv show that he has on cable now. It seems like people have a hard time trying to move between tv and movies. Either they are good at one or the other. Very few people can excel at both. Bill Cosby and his tv shows have done very well and deserve spots in the Hall of Fame, but his movies have always sucked. Martin Lawrence's tv show was the best of his work, but his comedy skills seem not to take as well to his movies. So given Perry's lackluster tv show, something gives me the feeling that his current movie will be pretty good.

I have to admit that I only know a little bit about the movie. Janet Jackson and Jill Scott will be starring in it. And it seems that they along with a cast of other folks will be discussing a lot of relationship issues. No matter whether a person is married or not, in some way, shape or form, many people will be able to relate anyway in their own dating relationships. Or perhaps, some of us unmarried folks may get a chance to get a sneak peek into the married life. Maybe not. We'll see.

If anyone else sees the movie, let's discuss it next week. It will be very interesting to see how different people perceive it.

Does Keyshia Have An Attitude Problem???...

Ordinarily, I would have missed out on the news about Keyshia Cole, because I usually switch back and forth between the Tom Joyner Morning Show and Steve Harvey's. But anyhoo, while I was surfing the net, I came upon a celeb blog that mentioned the tension-filled radio interview 92Q from Baltimore had with Keyshia. Before listening to the interview for myself, I read the comments from others. Some said that she was ghetto, rude, unprofessional, and a whole host of other things. And at first glance, their assessment seemed on point.

Then I listened to the interview. I was left wondering whether we listened to the same interview. The way folks were talking, they made it seemed like she cursed them out and said some offensive comments. But that exactly wasn't the case. Yes, Keyshia was concise with her answers and vague altogether. But I didn't find her to be as rude as others pointed out. The crux of the whole flap seemed to be that she seemed not to want to be there doing the interview as DJ Mar.c Clarke indicated. I will say that he handled the interview for the most part right. He explained the importance of an artist needing to have the right attitude and how they depend upon their fans for success. But lawd have mercy was his lecture long. He drove home the point correctly the first time around, but kept driving, driving, and driving. *phew* *lol* And fortunately, Keyshia understood his point and apologized.

I never just see things from the surface though. Instead of thinking of this young woman is a ghetto chick as others have labeled her, I wonder what it is about our culture that doesn't understand the plight of others. I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to write off our young folks. I'm just not ready to do that. I feel that sometimes these young folks go through so much roughness and hard times in their lives that they honest to goodness don't know any better, don't know how to maneuver around tricky situations, and don't know how to articulate their feelings in a manner people can understand them. People living hard lives don't have the luxury of talking about what they feel. They just try to live the best way they know how. As far as Keyshia is concerned, from her reality show I found out that her mother has been in and out of jail and that she doesn't know much about who her father is. So, it appears that she and her sister have had to raise themselves, which speaks volumes. I'm not going to say that I grew up hard, because I didn't. One of my parents and their siblings grew up tough as orphans from a very early age. Other people just don't understand what it is to not know where you are going to lay your head at night or where your next meal is going to come from. So folks will just as easily just label someone ghetto and leave it at that. But I will say that I am very grateful for the folks who did help my family along the way, because I wouldn't be where I am today without them.

When people make comments about Keyshia being unrefined and rough around the edges, they don't take into account how blessed they are to have had a mother and/or father or grandparent or aunt or uncle to raise them in the proper way. Yes, I'm saying it. If you had structure in your life, that's a blessing, because those who didn't have it are having to play catch up after having 18 years or more. In Keyshia's case, she show that she cared by coming back to the interview and changing her tune. There is hope for her.

This blog entry really isn't just about Keyshia. It's about our youth. Could you imagine someone putting a test such as the GRE, GMAT, or LSAT in front of you without you having the benefit of having the appropriate lessons taught to you? Well, that's what we are doing to our young people when life tests them. No, I don't have the answers as to what we should do. I just hope we will try to be more compassionate, understanding, and patient with people who have rough childhoods. We just can't throw folks away.

I'm running late again. I have to run. Have a great day. : )

Come-Back Monday...

I hope everyone had a beautiful weekend before returning to work today. As for me, I had a quiet one. I really didn't have a choice, since I had the nerve to sprain my foot on Friday and not put ice on it until today.

Well anyhoo...I'm taking my blog direction from Pamalicious today. The last time I blogged I mentioned the upcoming reality shows that will be playing on VH1 starting October 15th. Well, in the comments Pamalicious mentioned Dawn Robinson and her husband's (Dre Allen) new reality show. I had seen it a few weeks ago, but they had taken the video off the net at the time. Since then, they've reposted it. Here it goes.

The Dawn and Dre Show...



Most people who remember Dawn Robinson remember her from EnVogue and Lucy Pearl. But I don't know much at all about her husband. I had to go to her My.Space page find out information about him. The whole point of this reality show is to document her comeback and his come up. It's unclear whether this show will be picked up by a network or cable channel to be honest. I wonder whether they can generate enough interest in their project. I hope so.

I was thinking that EnVogue never really got to make it to the big leagues, although they did get to experience a level of celebrity. They got to record maybe three or four albums and made appearances on tv shows. I think the lack creative control and the lack of leverage in their business contracts are the two things that got in the way of the their success. EnVogue is sort of special to me because they represent a time in my life when we were so young and had the world before us like nothing could stop us. Now they (the original EnVogue and Dawn as a solo artist) are out in their 40's trying to stage a comeback, which I hope they all can do. I just wished that they had been better off. I hope that we aren't all burned out and jaded by life. Who knows? *sigh*

LeToya Luckett...




LeToya Luckett's reality show called the H-Town Chick briefly appeared on BET last year right around the time she released her album. There was a lot of buzz surrounding whether she could measure up to Beyonce and measure up period. And all during her interviews last year, people kept asking her the same questions about Destiny's Child. Once people put you in a box, that's where they want you to stay. They wanted her to remain as one of the jilted Destiny's Child members. I mean really. That whole flap with the group happened more than seven years ago. What I do like about her is that she's moved on and has the right frame of mind to do it. She could have been consumed with bitterness. But it's better that she's concerning herself with her recording career and her Lady L Boutique, which sells House of Dereon clothing. In case you forgot what happened, here's LeToya and LaTavia's take on the situation:

LeToya and LaTavia



Honestly, I only heard two songs from LeToya's last CD. They seemed to be normal or what we would call average. It wasn't bad or anything, but I really couldn't tell who was singing the first single when I listened to it for the first time. She's going to have to develop a signature style to distinguish herself from the rest of the pack of singers out now. But apparently, she performed well enough for her CD to go platinum. I don't usually take word of folks on the internet? So, I checked the Recording Industry Assoction of America's web site and sure enough it stated that she went platinum. I guess that explains why she is back in the studio recording her second solo album. We all know that she doesn't have the full production crew behind her like other people have, but I hope she will be able to carve out a niche for herself in the industry.

Okay, I'm running late for work. Let me get going. Have a great day. :-)

What's Zee Watching These Days???...

Hello everybody. I'm back on the scene to write another blog entry. I meant to write it last night, but the procrastinator in me wouldn't let me. Well as the self-appointed Queen of Television Watching (QOTW), I came across a couple of interesting shows recently. You know, not too many shows really interest me. Prime-time tv on the big three networks is so one-sided, predictable, and overwhelmingly corny. I don't see how people stomach that crap. So that's why I venture out into the world of cable channels most of the time.

I watch all kinds of shows that other folks don't watch. While everybody else is watching Survivor, the Amazing Race, American Idol, Gre.y's Anatomy, or Despe.rate Housewives, I'm watching the knock off trash like American Princess (WE Channel), Flava of Love (Vh1), Charm School (VH1), and Rock of Love (Dang. That was painful) in an attempt to find some value in them. In a well balanced diet, we have to add a little bit of trash. I'm not proud of it, but it's like the buying the Nation.al Inquirer. You don't actually buy it. You just get into the longest line at the grocery store and read it there. When the cashier finishes ringing up you stuff, you put the magazine back on the rack. Why? Because you can't let family and friends come to your place and see magazines with alien faces and sightings on it. Shux, then you'd end up on the next installment of the show "Intervention" on TLC. For shame!!!...

The healthy part of my television consumption involves watching a lot of CNN, the History Channel, CourtTv, TLC, etc. I've watched shows about how bridges are built, how the ice highway is built and maintained for a few months out of the year to transport big rigs in the middle of winter to the diamond mines, how your seafood is caught off the coast of the Atlantic in dangerous weather, etc. Who else watches this stuff but me? But anywhoo. Aside from the craziness that the land of tv provides, I've found a couple of interesting shows. One is about Salt N Pepa. The other is about Irv Gotti.

Salt N Pepa

Will They Or Won't They Get Back Together???...

Sometimes do you ever wonder what happened to a singer or a group or a trio in this case? Within watching a few seconds of watching this video, you'll know the answer about Salt N Pepa. SideNote: What happened to Spinderella? I guess friends just move into different directions and just grow apart. In the minds or fantasies of fans, we always want to believe that the members of a group are going to stay together forever even after they stop performing. So it was a little strange for me to find out that Salt and Pepa aren't close anymore. I should know better as I think about how my friends and I have grown apart.

While watching the video, I felt like I understood where Salt was coming from. There comes a time and a day when your day in the sun is over. I'm a few years younger than they are, but I'm coming into a phase of feeling very maternalistic. The things that used to excite me don't anymore. I'm not saying that I can't go out and have fun anymore. It's just not my focus. I'd rather be raising a family. That's just me. But on the flip side, there is good ole Pepa with her wild self. *lol* She reminds me of some of my friends who refuse to let any grass grow up under their feet. They're onto the next party and keep something going. I love them. We just can't hang out together anymore, because they are too wild. Faded beauty looks so bad trying to fit into tube tops and mini skirts with all that meat hanging out. Turn and look away. They just look strange out here trying to compete with those young girls (Beyonce, Rihanna, etc.) *lol* Forty aint the new 20. I'm not 40 yet, but I can tell you the mid to late 30's aint even the new 20. We just got to learn to embrace the age we really are. That's what's beautiful. Fortunately, Salt N Pepa still look good. One way or the other, the Salt N Pepa show scheduled to air in October on VH1 looks like a reality show worth watching.

Irv Gotti: What's New With Him???...

Earlier today I had the video posted on this entry. But after watching it a few times, I think I'll just provide the link. Here it is ==> Irv's Reality Show. I really don't care for Irv's spicy language. He's a real character and a real piece of work, if you know what I mean. A while ago, he appeared on Wend.y Williams' show to badmouth Ashanti for not being a ride or die chick for him. Say what? He's the one who got questioned about money laundering and was nabbed with having the drugs Ecstasy and Viagra in his possession. *blank stare* Side Question: Are folks so broken down in their freakin 30's that they can't rise to the occasion anymore and need Viagra? **Continued Blank Stare** Then he sat back and let Wendy and her crew clown Ashanti's weight. Umm. Has Irv ever been skinny or at least at a normal weight? *lol* I'm not a big Ashanti fan at all, but it seems like Irv is intentionally taking jabs at her knowing that she can't leave him because he has her locked down under some water tight contracts. He just better watch out about creating a hostile work environment full of sexual harassment, which could open him up to being sued by her. Plus, there is a certain low lifeness about folks who talk about their sex lives to the public. He's going around implying that he and Shani did "it." Whatever. Irv needs to grow up and move on since she has with Nelly. *shrug*

I guess one would wonder why I would even consider watching Irv's show. Well, I'm curious, which is the foundation of most reality shows. I'm still in my adventure to find worth in shows and to see deeper meanings in people. Irv's wife and family are going to be on the show. From what I've seen so far, I feel sorry for his wife, because he appears to disrespect his wife very publicly. For goodness sake, she is the mother of his children. He's made it known that ride or die loyalty is important to him, but has no problem letting other folks down. There is no way that he would accept the same kind of trash he deals out to others. I really don't know what to make of his show, but honestly I'll be watching for the sake of curiousity. I want to see the good in everybody. So, I'm hoping to see the good side of Irv. We shall see.

The Jena 6: The Struggle Isn't Over...

I Support The Jena 6!!!...

The countdown is over and the day has come to support the Jena 6 in an effort to pursue equal justice under the law. This news story, which has been largely ignored by the mainstream media, involves the case of six African American teenagers. They had been charged with attempted murder for a school yard fight precipitated by a situation where black students were prevented from sitting under a tree, which had been designated as a whites-only area by white students. Black students protested. And there afterwards, three nooses appeared on the tree.

While most mainstream media stories mainly focus on the fight, other details were left out on purpose. Yes, a fight occurred, but the alleged victim of the fight went to the hospital, was released the same day, and attended a school- sponsored function later that day. So we ask the question, how is that attempted murder? Well, that's why the protesters from near and far are traveling to Jena, Louisiana to stage a peaceful protest. To follow the progression of the march and other related activities, please see the following information: ==> The Jena 6

They Are So Full Of Crap...

Don't fall for the ole okey doke. First the media was providing non-stop coverage about Michael Vick. Now they've got their targets focused on O.J. Simpson, whom we (brothers and sisters) could care less about, and his little tinkets, memorabilia or whatever. Who cares? O.J. is just loving that "they" are showing him attention again and that "they've" got their hands on him, because he can't get enough of "them". Let the Tropi.cana girls spring him out of jail.

But notice how much media attention is given to the Jena 6 and to the West Virginia woman, who was abused by six folks. You'll have to dig really hard to find this news, because they are working overtime at sweeping these stories under the rug.

I Live For the Weekend...

Earth, Wind & Fire - Boogie Wonderland
Uploaded by hakim93200

What do you do when you don't have time to write a good old fashioned and homemade blog entry? Show a video. So, excuse me as I put on my sparkly silver boots to cut the rug with The Elements: Earth, Wind, and Fire. Have a great weekend!!!...

Remembering September 11, 2001

A Day Of Reflection...

All That Freaking Hype...That's What's Up...

I know it's been a while since I've blog. And I apologize for that. Hey CreoleInDC. I had been feeling plain exhausted from work. I'd come home and almost fall asleep on my keyboard. But I'm back. I'll start by providing a short update about the good old job. I've been keeping a low profile as I continue to make career plans. I'm sort of concerned about making any rash decisions in this uncertain economy. I may devote a post about that some time this week.

However, most notably at my job there is a scam artist in the wings. My co-worker who sits in the cubicle next to mine is pulling all kinds of disappearing acts everyday. And apparently, he must not be putting in leave requests for his absences, because the bosses have begun to walk down our aisle, which they rarely used to do. One even asked me if I knew where he was. And of course, I said that I didn't know, because I just don't want to be involved in someone else's mess. I only have time to focus on my career. Babysitting someone who is 15 to 20 years my senior is not on my radar. But I do get tired of him trying to talk to me when he does come in. I bet he's trying to get me and the other co-workers to vouch for him showing up. I'm not going to allow him to pull me down with him. He's tried to talk smack about the management behind their backs, but he does a huge job of kissing up in their presence. I have my differences with the management too. I just try to be a little more discreet about it. His situation is about to pop off real soon as the supervisors continue to provide more surveillance around his cube. I just want to steer clear of that train wreck.

All Aboard...



Speaking of train wrecks, wasn't that some mess with the MTV Awards? It just plained sucked this year. They know how to hype up a show only not to deliver again. I grew up with MTV. I remember when they first went on the air with Martha Quinn as one of the first VJs. I think I was a pre-teen. They came this far to mess up. *sigh* Let's just go ahead and launch into a good old fashioned assessment.

So much for comebacks. What about go aways? If anyone cared about Britney Spears, they would not have let her take the stage in her mental and physical condition. Where are her handlers? She appeared a bit out of shape in a bikini and knee high boots. She could barely lip sync the lyrics and appeared to wobble a bit as if she was about to fall over. Her dancers were practically holding her up as well as the overall performance. It was painful for everybody to watch. I think everyone collectively didn't even want to laugh, because her performance was that bad. Folks were holding their breath hoping that she could get through it. Everything that's played out in the tabloids appears to be true. I felt bad for the girl enough not to post of a picture of her performance. And fellow recording artists even seemed to try to hold back their whispers and shock of what Britney has become...Washed up at 25. At this point, Britney's label needs to delay all of her projects until she can get it together. One more thing, the CBS news this morning tried to tell folks to give Britney a break (on her performance get up) because she had two kids, but umm, why not give us a break and cover up a bit more? That alone could have made the performance a little better.

Let's Dance, Let's Shout, Shake Your Body Down To The Ground...



Aside from Britney, most of the other performances weren't that good either. There was a whole lot of lip synching going on. Shux, I could have gone out there and put on a sparkly gown to mouth out some trashy lyrics. But anyhoo, MTV had this new set up of having artists to perform at different suites at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas. Things possibly could have worked if they had let us see full performances. It looked more like Dick Clark's New Year's party. But I'll say Chris Brown provided a more lively performance at the main stage while conjuring up Michael Jackson from 20 years ago. Wow. Great. Um, let's see. Usher and Justin Timberlake have channeled Michael. Now we have Chris. I'm holding out promise for him since he has a lot of potential and does possess dancing skills. But when will artists become original? Remix that.

Who Won??? And Who Didn't???...



There was another bright spot during the show. That would be Rihanna. Her Umbrella video won two awards. She doesn't claim to be a vocal powerhouse or anything, but she presents herself well. I give her extra cool points for her efforts and professionalism. Jay-Z did a good job of packaging her. I just hope he is also helping her to develop her singing talent in terms of range and depth so that she can stick around. I can't really bring myself to buy her CD yet. That comment wasn't meant to be an insult. It's just that I don't buy many CDs anymore, and if I do, I have to make sure that I like more than one song. I still think Rihanna could be a star in the making. She also has potential and may be someone to watch...Kanye was his old self moaning and complaining about not winning a dog gone thing. You know it's hard to sympathize with him sometimes. I'm still chilly with him behind his Evil Kneievel inspired video depicting sistas as being jealous of his involvement with a blond. Umm. So what. But fair is fair, and I agree with him questioning MTV for letting Britney headline the awards.

Moving along. Justin Timberlake snagged a bunch of awards and I still can't get on board with him. I thought others were worthy of awards. But other than that, I don't have anything bad to say about him. He's no better and no worse than most of the artists out now. I just wonder whether he can produce hits of his own without folks like Timbaland. Oh yeah. Alicia Keys performed well again and didn't disappoint, which leads me to ask why she wasn't asked to open the awards. All I know is that MTV put on a lackluster show with their karaoke performers.

Well that's my star log report. I've got to get moving. Work calls. Have a great day... :-)

Blah, Blah, Blog...

Beyonce pour L'oréal paris
Uploaded by Bee-sasha

There's Not A Problem That Bee Can't Fix, Watch Her Make That Money In The Mix...

I know that I promised to blog more often, but a sista is running late for work now and is out of blog ideas. So, let this commercial hold you over. Also, in the meantime, somebody from Beyonce's camp better call me and let me know some money making ideas. I guess I better come to terms with reality and get ready to pick cotton at my current plantation. *sigh*

==============

Update:

Nikki, you're right. I respect Bee's gigs, but she is overexposed. However, now she's talking about releasing another CD next summer. *sigh* It sure would be nice to see Bee get married to Jay and take some time off. Like a year or two. Shux, we're worn out from the overexposure.

Eddie Murphy's Ex-Factors...

Nothing Like A Woman Scorned!!!...*Ouch*

As adorable as little Angel Iris is, the controversy surrounding her isn't. In case you've been away from the tv and the computer for a while or snug as a bug under a rock, Melanie Brown also known as Scary Spice of the Spice Girls has been flooding the airwaves putting Eddie Murphy on blast for not embracing her and their daughter. Just last week, Melanie held a press conference with her lawyers to speak out about deadbeat dads andEddie Murphy. Melanie said that the pregnancy was planned, he tried to deny that he was the father, he hasn't paid child support, and he hasn't visited their baby, although his ex-wife Nicole Murphy has. I guess Melanie and Nicole decided to have a public lunch date after hearing that Eddie proposed to Tracey Edmonds, Babyface's ex-wife. Let's just say that Melanie and Nicole weren't too pleased to hear about the upcoming nuptials. There's nothing wrong with Melanie and Nicole meeting each other introducing the siblings, but give me a break. Couldn't they have met somewhere privately? These women are heated and meant to eat lunch all up in the window after notifying the media "beforehand" about their lunch publicity stunt date. Girl please. *lol*

Four Months of Bliss And Now Just This...

Let's do a rundown of the events. Around 2006 when Eddie was filming the Dreamgirls movie, he was going through a divorce with Nicole. A few months later, he began dating Melanie. They say their relationship lasted for about 4 months. I remember reading somewhere that Eddie hired a private investigator, who claimed that he saw her spending time with another man. And I also read somewhere that Melanie remembers having an argument with Eddie, but didn't know that was the end of their relationship. But I guess she found out once he cut off contact with her and began a relationship with Tracey Edmonds. A few months later, Melanie was sporting a baby bump. Melanie said that she was carrying Eddie's baby and was planning to spend the Christmas holidays with him. Eddie responded in a tv interview stating that we wouldn't know whose baby that was until a blood test was done. Note that he didn't deny being the father as widely and falsely stated in the news; however, he just said a blood test would be needed. The baby was born in April on Eddie's birthday. Side Note: Was this a coincidence or the result of being induced? A blood test was done and stated that Eddie is the father. Melanie is in the heat of a big media campaign, which includes an interview with Larry King tonight to talk about the whole situation involving Eddie. There you have it.

Baby Come Back To Me...

My take on the matter is that Melanie is still in love with Eddie and is having problems moving on. One minute she was the love of his life. She was his lady. It must have felt good to be on the arm of a rich and powerful man. The media was sneaking peeks of the two at the airport preparing to take vacations together. There was even talk of the two getting married. But I was half-believing that talk last year, because in the back of my mind I was thinking this was a rebound relationship coming on the heels of Eddie's divorce. It amazes me how two people can perceive the same situation so differently. Melanie Brown says that she and Eddie shared a deep and meaningful relationship, while Eddie Murphy says he and Melanie shared a brief relationship, which ended. For whatever reason, Eddie ended things and now Melanie feels abandoned. I guess we shouldn't be surprised to see Eddie doing commercials for Trojan.

I bet Melanie was thinking that after a blood test proved that Eddie was the father, he would come back to her and apologize for believing that she was possibly cheating on him. Melanie probably envisioned him ending his trysts with Tracey, and having a beautiful reunion with him so they could pick up where they left off. And the fantasy continues.

She'll Twist His Arm Until He Says Uncle...

At Melanie's age, over 30, she's old enough to know how relationships go. We're not spring chickens or school girls anymore unaware of love's pitfalls. Love's not fair. And playing around with players will sometimes get you burned. Before Eddie married Nicole, he got around with the wimmenz. So, I don't know how Melanie thought she and Eddie had plans in place for a wedding and a baby after only 4 months of dating. Shux, unless a man invites me to take a trip down the aisle to say I DO and put a ring on my finger, I don't assume a thing in the way of commitment. I'm just saying. And to a certain degree, I can't get with Melanie's pity party, since it takes two to tango. Miss Girl Power is going to have to learn that getting pregnant is not going to force a man into marriage. If I had a dollar for every time I heard about a scheme like this, I would have owned the Trump Hotel and Tower by now.

An older woman who has been there and done that should have pulled Melanie to the side to inform her that she can't force Eddie to do anything put pay child support. Eddie seems unmoved and unphased by Melanie's media blitz. I understand about Melanie wanting Eddie to take up his fatherhood duties. I just hope that she's not using the press conferences and visitation requests to get back with Eddie. Girl, he's gone. The horsey has torn out of the stall. I also really don't think it's a good idea for her to be giving the media so much access to their baby. It looked like the photographers were about to trip her while she was holding the baby as she left the restaurant after meeting Nicole. I wonder what Angel will think years from now after seeing several tv clips and magazine articles of her mother airing their family business in public. The child has a right to grow up out of the view of the limelight. Whatever the case, I just hope Melanie and Eddie can work things out in the best interest of their baby in private . But stay tuned for another episode of the Melanie and Eddie Soap Opera. Just grab your popcorn and a ring side seat.

=====================
Update:

Melanie Brown canceled her Larry King Live appearance scheduled to air last night, because she said that she and the baby were sick. Also, I've seen a story claiming that she married her boyfriend, Stephen Belafonte, in June. He's not related to Harry Belafonte. Stephen changed his last name from Standsbury to Belafonte.

Kimora Lee Simmons Has A New Show..

This Will Feed Into My Already Huge Tv Obssession...

Love her or hate her. One way or another, I think this show is going to take off simply because folks want to know how rich folks live. I want to see that mansion. The Style Network has the first show posted on the web at the following link. Let me know what you think about it. ==> Kimora's New Gig

My Weekend: More TV and House Drama...

I Keep Getting Taken Away With The Tv Tide...

Good morning everyone. I hope everyone had a good weekend. I somewhat did. But for starters, let me say what happened leading up to it. I received somewhat of a promotion on Thursday. I'll explain that perhaps in another blog entry. But I will say that when you know you deserved something a long time ago, it takes a little bit away from the happiness factor. I'm still grateful and all. I just know that I had to pay a heavier price than the other folks at that joint.

Anywho. I've fallen into the pattern or trap rather of watching tv marathons for the last month or so. I'll just innocently turn to a channel and then boom get caught up in watching it for the next few hours. This stuff keeps me from getting my errands done. The only shows I really don't care to watch for even 10 seconds is that Chachi Scott Baio show and that Roc.k on Love show on VH.1. Who cares why Chachi isn't married now by 45? Duh? He isn't trying to get married. That's a wrap. And as for Roc.k of Love, if they are trying to recreate the Flav.or of Love, it's not happening. Just about anybody can get a reality show. I just want to know if we bloggers can get one and get P.A.I.D.!!! Do you hear me???... *lol*

But I did get taken away with the tide this past weekend watching about 3 hours of Crib.s on M.TV with Kimora Lee Simmons hosting. Side Note: Is Kimora and Russell really separated or divorced? I don't usually watch this show, but they were showing the top 20 homes. Aside from the showing off, it was interesting to see how the wildest people had the most refined homes decorated with cherubs, gold leaf patterns, and fine china. Maybe their wildness is just an act.

As for wildness, I'm tired of it. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know about my venting entries concerning my job. I've been through it and have come to accept that I can't control what goes on my job to a certain extent. I can't control the kinds of assignments that are sent to me, a few of my co-workers' attitudes, or the due dates of projects when the assignment has been sitting on someone else's desk for weeks. Oh Zee, this is due tomorrow. They drop the hot potato off and run down the hall. I'm controlling freaking out about stuff and finish projects when I finish them.


It's Time To Bounce...



I Look Forward To It...

So, if I'm taking trash at work, you know that I'm not trying to take it at home. When I'm working so hard, I know that my home life better be pretty calm and relaxing. At least that's what I think it should be. Let's take last week. I had a moderate workweek. I live for Fridays to unwind. I left work a little early to get some maintenance done on my car. Afterwards, I picked up a few groceries, dinner, and proceeded home to relax. But I get home to a freaking ZOO, do you hear me? The neighbors, who happen to be the head of the condo association, above my condo had company visiting. And they were taking the place apart. And let's just say that my ceiling fans were bouncing around because of the impact. I let this go on for about 2 hours. I left the den and went into the bedroom to take a nap only to have someone running above me once again. So I calmly went upstairs to inform my neighbors that they were bit loud and to request them to bring it down a notch. Do you know that clown opened up the door and said, "We'll try" and shut the door in my face? I bet he was showing off for his company. As soon as I got down stairs, they were off to the races running again as if I had never said anything to them.

Mind you this is the first time I've gone upstairs to tell them to keep it down. Over the last 2 1/2 years I have endured them getting up to go to work at 3:40 a.m. breaking my rest, their constant stomping like a marching band, and dropping heavy stuff over my unit on a daily basis. Every night from around 10 pm or sometimes later, someone comes in and drops something to the floor, which is my ceiling, startling me when I'm sometimes asleep. Imagine that. I do remember asking the previous owner, a sister, of my place at the closing table were the people above me loud. And she said that she had to go up there a few times to tell them about their noise. Plus, later on I discovered on the net that the previous owner of my place only lived here a year. I did ask about this before the purchase, but she said that she wanted a single family home. Now, I'm realizing that meant that she was sick and tired of dealing with the upstairs neighbor's noise.

I go out of my way to make sure I'm not bothering anybody. I'm walking around with my iPod and the only noise I practically make is when I'm washing clothes. I guess the thing that got me steamed is that I'm paying my mortgage just like they are. They disrespect my home and think nothing of it. And then there was the time when my neighbor across from me pushed her old, leaking refrigerator beside my front door. She got peeved when the management company charged her $200 to remove that hag. *lol* What I think these two people have in common is hating that a colored gal lives among them. "Honey, call the cops. Kizzy just moved in!!!" They all sported those fake smiles when I moved in, but they showed their real colors through their actions. Whatever. That's a huge reason why I'm selling my place. The other reasons are that I need more space and that I want to be comfortable. I'm moving onto my brighter day.

There are more cool neighbors in the building who tell me everything. They don't happen to live above me. I'll miss them. But the other folks in the 2 units can kick rocks as far as I'm concerned. It amazes me how the more I try to avoid certain situations, that they confront me more often. My family and friends keep warning me that if I continue to take so much off of people that they themselves will come up here to whip me for not telling folks off. Wow. *lol*

Well, I better get ready for work. Take care and have a great day folks. :-)

I've Been Tagged...Thanks Tiki...

How Do I Get Caught Up In These Situations???...*LOL*

As a very responsible citizen of the blog world, I will comply and complete the following meme, because Harpo told me to. Okay here it goes. If I don't follow directions correctly, I will clean it up later. I'm running late for work.

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
HERE GO'S!


8 Thangs About Me:

1) I'm a very, ultra private person. That's why my blog isn't that good. How am I going to complete the 8 thangs about me? I just maintain a little spot over here so that I can enjoy everybody else's blogs. Yeah, I ain't fair. But keep your blogs coming.

2) I have reoccurring dreams that I remember after I wake up. I keep dreaming of my car being stolen and then sometimes being returned. And when I purchase a new car in real life, the dream always reflects the car I actually drive in real life. My dreams update. Then I have dreams about people (mostly men) I haven't seen or spoken to in years. Like 10 years. Why are they in my dreams? Is this good or bad? Oh well. Why can't I dream of winning the lottery?

3) I live an exciting life in my dreams.

4) I'm a tv addict. I watch all kinds of tv. Documentaries, music videos, reality shows, dramas, comedies, a lot of news shows, etc.

5) I come from a comical family. You should see us at family reunions. But we weren't laughing when the heaviest cousin broke the CEMENT patio bench. How does one break down cement? And who is going to pay for the damage? I ain't hosting no family reunions at my place. *shrug*

6) I wasn't born in the south, but I sometimes speak with a southern twang. I used to be ashamed of it, but now it doesn't bother me. This is who I am.

7) I am attracted to things that are not of my nature. I love photography and other artsy fartsy stuff. It's so different from me.

8) Here's the love of my life. His initials are T. S. and he's a momma's boy. *lol* ==> My baby and My baby again


THE FIRST EIGHT PEOPLE WHO READ THIS ENTRY ARE TAGGED!!!...Will 8 people read my blog?

The Cubicle Chronicles: Part 6

The Meeting Dilemma...

Hello everyone. It's been a while since I've blogged, because I've been bogged down with a lot of work for the last couple of weeks. I've been working through my lunches and bringing work home in the evenings. The others in the office have plans to work on the 4th of July, while I plan to stay at home and do a little. I never thought that I'd see the day when we Uncle Leroy workers would work on a holiday. It's not natural.

Let me give you a quick update on my last blog entry. That co-worker who had so much to say about single people also has a lot to say about married people. According to her, eveybody's marriages are dysfunctional and in shambles. Everybody is miserable. Blah, blah, blah. I'd walk away when she'd badtalk people, because I didn't want them to think that I condoned her one-upman speeches. She even went on to accuse another co-worker of sexually harassing her. Friends have told me that they were surprised that I was suprisingly calm when she read me "the single women are so pitiful speech." But you know you have to be that way with people who are not right mentally. So I let that friendship cool altogether and fall by the wayside.

Today, I'll use my blog to let off some steam. Yesterday, my bosses (the boss and the deputy) called me in to find out why I wasn't attending the meetings. Yeah. I've been absent. But I was at work alright. Let me explain. There are two types of workers. There are the meeting mavens and then there are the worker bees. Guess which category I fit in? Yeah. I'm a worker bee. I can't stand attending meaningless meetings that waste my time when I can be getting work done. Many times nothing gets accomplished in these meetings. Folks love to hear themselves talk. I can only work on but so many sudoku puzzles off to the side to keep from falling asleep. *sigh*

For the last month, I've been asked to develop decision papers regarding legal matters for senior management. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm suppposed to give my recommendations from a policy person's perspective. Assignments always scare me at first. I wonder whether I can handle it. Next, I deal with the fact that it needs to get done by the deadline. And then, I come to a point of almost enjoying working on it. It always happens in those steps. But in between all of this, what really works my nerves is when people keep bothering me when I'm trying to get my work done. Yeah, we're shortstaffed, but that's not my problem. I'm not the supervisor and I'm not the one who didn't plan for how the excess work would be handled. It's not that I don't care. It's just that I don't "get paid" to care.

So as I said, my supervisors really peeved me a bit by calling me in like I'm sitting over at my desk chilling. The meeting request seemed to suggest that I wasn't doing this, that, and the other. So in preparation for the meeting, I brought a stack of papers showing everying that I've completed in the last couple of weeks. When I went through the stack, all they could do was sit there and look silly. I covered all of my bases, and crossed every "t" and dotted every "i." I document everything. They really don't know me. But since they called me in, I decided to air my complaint of them in a "nice" way. I had to explain to these operations people that policy writing isn't a microwave type of process. It takes a lot of time. So I'd appreciate if they'd leave me alone so that I can complete the work. Then I reminded them that their boss (my boss' boss) gave me that assignment. I can't apply for enough jobs or go on enough interviews at this point. Micromanagement sucks.

Well, I've got to get ready for work. Everyone have a great day!!! :-)

So Why Aren't You Married???...

This Single Woman's Perspective...

Are you married? So, why aren't you married? Those sound like innocent enough questions, right? Well, it depends on who is asking the questions and why. The older a single, never married woman gets, she's constantly peppered with these questions. When friends and relatives reconnect, that's usually the first thing they ask. And when you say no, there's an uncomfortable pause before they try to recover from showing their disappointment. You can try to reassure them all you to that you're doing just fine by doing well at work, buying a new home, making a commitment to eating right and exercising, starting grad school, etc. But they're not too interested in that stuff at all, because in their world you have not achieved much until you become a wife and mother.

When my family and friends ask these questions, for the most part, I know that they have my best interest at heart. We've evolved enough to be able to discuss this subject without arguing anymore. Instead, we try to articulate what's actually on our minds minus the smart remarks. They tell me that they don't want me to grow old alone. They don't want me facing and having to fight the world alone. And they don't want me to miss out on the experience of becoming a mother. They've shared with me how happy their kids make them and that they want me to be happy in that same way. I can accept these statements as a form of constructive criticism and well-meaning advice.

Early on from about the time I was about 20, I was told by older female relatives that my friendships with my friends would change once one of us got married. The change didn't necesssarily have to be good or bad, but things would change. And true enough, it has happened. I just accept it as a part of life. After my friends got married, I pulled back a bit to let their new family structure flourish. I try to show respect to my friends' husbands and kids, since many times my friends are busy trying to fix dinner, help the kids do homework, put the baby to bed, and spend time with their husbands. I know that they have these new responsiblities. So I don't take it personally when they don't call or hangout as much. We're cool like that.

And no matter what's going on in my dating life, I always feel like I can cheer for my married friends. I enjoy hearing about their milestones, anniversaries, and relationship growth. However, I feel like their married status has no bearing on my single status so I never have to feel jealous of them. I love these folks. Our situations are separate and distinct. I believe that their husbands came along in their lives for a specific purpose. It's nothing more than us taking our own separate journeys. I respect the marriages of my friends and I respect the institution of marriage period.

It's harder to gauge the comments of other people when I don't know where they are coming from. I don't know their experiences, perspectives, and motives. So, if it's a stranger or a person I don't know too well, I have to let it slide to a certain degree. I've got to be fair enough to give them the benefit of doubt. We could just be misunderstanding each other. But things especially sting the most when its flying out of the mouth of someone I actually know or thought I knew. Sometimes you think you're close friends with someone until they show you their true selves.

I Thought We Knew Each Other Or At Least Cared...

A co-worker/friend caught me offguard once when she implied to me that she was better than I was and in a sense on a higher level and rank of womanhood, because she was married with children. In essence, she was trying to put me in my place. And of course following this enlightening statement, she followed up with how miserable and bitter we single women are. Hmm. I never told her that I couldn't find a man or that all men were dogs. I've never said anything like that. In her infinite wisdom, she deduced that something is inherently wrong with single women and that's why we are single. You know the line. She was saying that we are too rebellious, too independent, too bossy, not willing to cook, too talkative, not soft enough, too academically inclined, too career-driven, not willing to take a back seat, too aggressive, too assertive (not the same thing as aggressive), not willing to be submissive, overbearing, trying to emasculate the man, sexually loose, not giving into natural feminine tendencies, selfish, hateful, and all and all failures in life for not becoming wives and mothers. All of this is nothing more than horsecrap. And if we ever thought about having dating standards, compatibility criteria, and preferences, she would criticize this as if "some" men never rattled out a laundry list of their shallow requirements. You know like the ones where a guy (only some and surely not all) would declare that he would never date a black woman or a dark woman or a woman with kinky hair or a pleasantly plump woman, without giving any thought to any characteristics outside of her physical features.

Then she goes onto say why she has a man and why the rest of us don't. According to her, we are going against nature, wasting our reproductive organs, and living unfulfilled lives. Yeah, she said a mouthful. Where is the cliff so that we single women can jump off? Not! What the? I had to let her know it's a matter of choice. It's as simple as that. Many of us could get married, but have chosen not to for various reasons. I vowed to myself that I would never marry unless I really could commit to it. I'm no good at putting on fronts and facades. To me, taking marriage vows is a serious matter.

The pieces of the puzzle started to come together. In previous conversations, she would tell me how much her husband loved her. And not in a general way. She'd talk about their "intimate" moments and freely say maybe you'll have that in your life one day with a smug tone in her voice. She'd say something to the effect of, "While I sleep in the comfort of my husband, the rest of you will be lonely crying at night." Or she'd talk about the house they live in and the cars they drive and then say hopefully you'll be as "lucky" to get this type of life. If I wanted to be really petty, I could have said a host of nasty things about the way she got married or rather the way she forced him to marry her or how she tried to make out some kind of immaculate conception theory in her own case. But what's the use in stooping low to someone else's level? It's not worth it. I didn't bother fussing with her; our friendship has whittled down to much of nothing. Some folks won't change. I've learned more about marriage from my own family who've been married for 40 years +. So what advice could my so-called friend have to impart to me? You guessed it. Nothing. I just can't believe she came off on me like that. I'm not in competition with my friends. I just hope if I get married that I won't treat single folks the way I've been treated. For the most part, my married friends have treated my great. But still there are always the others.

This single woman's perspective is that people are individuals. All men don't act the same way. And all women don't either. I just don't see the point in a theory that claims single women are becoming bitter by pandemic proportions. Maybe other people think there is a surge in bitter women, because of the people they come into contact with or something. I don't hear the bitter talk as much. Maybe it's because my friends are married or actively dating. Furthermore, how could single women be so bitter if the birth rate among them isn't decreasing? In fact, the rate is increasing. Somebody is doing some loving somewhere whether it be physical, emotional or otherwise. Yeah, it's more complex than that.

I just think we should spend more time examining why an impasse exists between black men and black women rather than hiding behind labeling a whole, big, diverse group of black women as bitter. I've heard men speak of how they felt when their fathers walked out on their families and how they feel about struggling to understand what it is to be a man, father, and husband. I don't call those men bitter; I see them coping with the situation they were dealt in life. Providing dating tips to people who are dealing with some real issues amounts nothing more than putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. Can we get beyond the surface to find out what's really happening? If some women are saying there aren't any men, can we investigate where they are? For example, perhaps we can direct the sisters who say they like intellectual men to those guys who hang out at the book store, library, university, museums, etc. Sometimes, it amounts to going where they are. Can we at least investigate what the experiences have been for the women who say this? Have they been molested or abandoned very early on as kids by the men in their family? Or is it that they had expectations that differed from the men? Is it truth or not that a significant number of our men are in jail on real or falsely trumped up charges? In order to deal with the incarceration issue, what can we do as a community to keep our men from the clutches of criminal life? Are we providing them with enough access to academic resources, mentoring, and good old fashioned child rearing to help them to become successful adults, husbands, and fathers. Are we really helping girls and women to lift their self-esteem? See where I'm going with this? If not, what I'm trying to say is that the problems of black men and black women are interdepenent. When one or the other suffers, we all suffer.

Also, as women, why do we have to be so mean to each other? Is this supposed to be tough love? Is it love at all? I just can't understand why we can't have compassion for our fellow sisters, especially those who are dealing with really deep issues. Nevertheless, I want people to know there are happy single black women out here. When I wake up in the morning, I feel good knowing that I'm satisfied with the decisions I've made in my life. I'm not hurting anyone and I take pride in trying to live an uplifting life. I just know that God will send the right man in His given time. I just hope I'll be ready. If marriage doesn't happen for me, I will have to learn that everything is not meant to be. With that said, I am at peace with my current station in life.

It's okay if no one agrees with me.