So Why Aren't You Married???...

This Single Woman's Perspective...

Are you married? So, why aren't you married? Those sound like innocent enough questions, right? Well, it depends on who is asking the questions and why. The older a single, never married woman gets, she's constantly peppered with these questions. When friends and relatives reconnect, that's usually the first thing they ask. And when you say no, there's an uncomfortable pause before they try to recover from showing their disappointment. You can try to reassure them all you to that you're doing just fine by doing well at work, buying a new home, making a commitment to eating right and exercising, starting grad school, etc. But they're not too interested in that stuff at all, because in their world you have not achieved much until you become a wife and mother.

When my family and friends ask these questions, for the most part, I know that they have my best interest at heart. We've evolved enough to be able to discuss this subject without arguing anymore. Instead, we try to articulate what's actually on our minds minus the smart remarks. They tell me that they don't want me to grow old alone. They don't want me facing and having to fight the world alone. And they don't want me to miss out on the experience of becoming a mother. They've shared with me how happy their kids make them and that they want me to be happy in that same way. I can accept these statements as a form of constructive criticism and well-meaning advice.

Early on from about the time I was about 20, I was told by older female relatives that my friendships with my friends would change once one of us got married. The change didn't necesssarily have to be good or bad, but things would change. And true enough, it has happened. I just accept it as a part of life. After my friends got married, I pulled back a bit to let their new family structure flourish. I try to show respect to my friends' husbands and kids, since many times my friends are busy trying to fix dinner, help the kids do homework, put the baby to bed, and spend time with their husbands. I know that they have these new responsiblities. So I don't take it personally when they don't call or hangout as much. We're cool like that.

And no matter what's going on in my dating life, I always feel like I can cheer for my married friends. I enjoy hearing about their milestones, anniversaries, and relationship growth. However, I feel like their married status has no bearing on my single status so I never have to feel jealous of them. I love these folks. Our situations are separate and distinct. I believe that their husbands came along in their lives for a specific purpose. It's nothing more than us taking our own separate journeys. I respect the marriages of my friends and I respect the institution of marriage period.

It's harder to gauge the comments of other people when I don't know where they are coming from. I don't know their experiences, perspectives, and motives. So, if it's a stranger or a person I don't know too well, I have to let it slide to a certain degree. I've got to be fair enough to give them the benefit of doubt. We could just be misunderstanding each other. But things especially sting the most when its flying out of the mouth of someone I actually know or thought I knew. Sometimes you think you're close friends with someone until they show you their true selves.

I Thought We Knew Each Other Or At Least Cared...

A co-worker/friend caught me offguard once when she implied to me that she was better than I was and in a sense on a higher level and rank of womanhood, because she was married with children. In essence, she was trying to put me in my place. And of course following this enlightening statement, she followed up with how miserable and bitter we single women are. Hmm. I never told her that I couldn't find a man or that all men were dogs. I've never said anything like that. In her infinite wisdom, she deduced that something is inherently wrong with single women and that's why we are single. You know the line. She was saying that we are too rebellious, too independent, too bossy, not willing to cook, too talkative, not soft enough, too academically inclined, too career-driven, not willing to take a back seat, too aggressive, too assertive (not the same thing as aggressive), not willing to be submissive, overbearing, trying to emasculate the man, sexually loose, not giving into natural feminine tendencies, selfish, hateful, and all and all failures in life for not becoming wives and mothers. All of this is nothing more than horsecrap. And if we ever thought about having dating standards, compatibility criteria, and preferences, she would criticize this as if "some" men never rattled out a laundry list of their shallow requirements. You know like the ones where a guy (only some and surely not all) would declare that he would never date a black woman or a dark woman or a woman with kinky hair or a pleasantly plump woman, without giving any thought to any characteristics outside of her physical features.

Then she goes onto say why she has a man and why the rest of us don't. According to her, we are going against nature, wasting our reproductive organs, and living unfulfilled lives. Yeah, she said a mouthful. Where is the cliff so that we single women can jump off? Not! What the? I had to let her know it's a matter of choice. It's as simple as that. Many of us could get married, but have chosen not to for various reasons. I vowed to myself that I would never marry unless I really could commit to it. I'm no good at putting on fronts and facades. To me, taking marriage vows is a serious matter.

The pieces of the puzzle started to come together. In previous conversations, she would tell me how much her husband loved her. And not in a general way. She'd talk about their "intimate" moments and freely say maybe you'll have that in your life one day with a smug tone in her voice. She'd say something to the effect of, "While I sleep in the comfort of my husband, the rest of you will be lonely crying at night." Or she'd talk about the house they live in and the cars they drive and then say hopefully you'll be as "lucky" to get this type of life. If I wanted to be really petty, I could have said a host of nasty things about the way she got married or rather the way she forced him to marry her or how she tried to make out some kind of immaculate conception theory in her own case. But what's the use in stooping low to someone else's level? It's not worth it. I didn't bother fussing with her; our friendship has whittled down to much of nothing. Some folks won't change. I've learned more about marriage from my own family who've been married for 40 years +. So what advice could my so-called friend have to impart to me? You guessed it. Nothing. I just can't believe she came off on me like that. I'm not in competition with my friends. I just hope if I get married that I won't treat single folks the way I've been treated. For the most part, my married friends have treated my great. But still there are always the others.

This single woman's perspective is that people are individuals. All men don't act the same way. And all women don't either. I just don't see the point in a theory that claims single women are becoming bitter by pandemic proportions. Maybe other people think there is a surge in bitter women, because of the people they come into contact with or something. I don't hear the bitter talk as much. Maybe it's because my friends are married or actively dating. Furthermore, how could single women be so bitter if the birth rate among them isn't decreasing? In fact, the rate is increasing. Somebody is doing some loving somewhere whether it be physical, emotional or otherwise. Yeah, it's more complex than that.

I just think we should spend more time examining why an impasse exists between black men and black women rather than hiding behind labeling a whole, big, diverse group of black women as bitter. I've heard men speak of how they felt when their fathers walked out on their families and how they feel about struggling to understand what it is to be a man, father, and husband. I don't call those men bitter; I see them coping with the situation they were dealt in life. Providing dating tips to people who are dealing with some real issues amounts nothing more than putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. Can we get beyond the surface to find out what's really happening? If some women are saying there aren't any men, can we investigate where they are? For example, perhaps we can direct the sisters who say they like intellectual men to those guys who hang out at the book store, library, university, museums, etc. Sometimes, it amounts to going where they are. Can we at least investigate what the experiences have been for the women who say this? Have they been molested or abandoned very early on as kids by the men in their family? Or is it that they had expectations that differed from the men? Is it truth or not that a significant number of our men are in jail on real or falsely trumped up charges? In order to deal with the incarceration issue, what can we do as a community to keep our men from the clutches of criminal life? Are we providing them with enough access to academic resources, mentoring, and good old fashioned child rearing to help them to become successful adults, husbands, and fathers. Are we really helping girls and women to lift their self-esteem? See where I'm going with this? If not, what I'm trying to say is that the problems of black men and black women are interdepenent. When one or the other suffers, we all suffer.

Also, as women, why do we have to be so mean to each other? Is this supposed to be tough love? Is it love at all? I just can't understand why we can't have compassion for our fellow sisters, especially those who are dealing with really deep issues. Nevertheless, I want people to know there are happy single black women out here. When I wake up in the morning, I feel good knowing that I'm satisfied with the decisions I've made in my life. I'm not hurting anyone and I take pride in trying to live an uplifting life. I just know that God will send the right man in His given time. I just hope I'll be ready. If marriage doesn't happen for me, I will have to learn that everything is not meant to be. With that said, I am at peace with my current station in life.

It's okay if no one agrees with me.

Happy Friday...

It's just about time to kick back and relax. Have a safe and great weekend!!!...

Video: Kem - Find Your Way (Back in My Life)...

Bridezillas...

I Promise Not To Become A Bridezilla. I Do...
With Love, Zee

I spent another weekend parked on my couch watching tv marathons. I'm cool with knowing that I'm a homebody. After commuting to work all weeklong, I just want to stay at home and relax. I'll clean up a bit, wash some clothes, and get groceries, but afterwards it's on with the relaxing. VH1's Charm school's 4 or 5 consecutive showing of shows really doesn't constitute a full scale marathon. But the WE channel's Bridezillas showing of at least 12-16 hours does.

I didn't plan to watch Bridezillas. And I didn't watch it all day long. I did an off and on schedule. I just got drawn in to watching that drama. Some of it real. Some of it manufactured. But what I couldn't get over is how much everyday folks were paying out for weddings. Yeah, it's their business how much they spend. But why are everyday folks (working folks like myself who aren't millionaires) spending six figures or close to it for a one day celebration of a wedding? Most of these folks will end up spending the first 10 years of their marriage paying off these bills.

Aside from the money thrown away, I can't believe how some of these women were acting. The worst case was of Marsha and Archie. Marsha treated her fiance' like dirt. She was cursing at everyone. What was she not cursing about? Marsha was just plain nasty. And worst of all she brought Archie to tears when she threatened to cancel the wedding the night before. Yeah, she had homeboy loudly crying like a baby talking about, "She don't love me!!!!," in the car when she pulled her stunt. I just can't even believe that he married her after all of that. It would have been totally understandable if he had pulled her bluff and walked away when she canceled it. It would have at least taught her about respecting other people. When Archie's family and friends viewed this show on tv, I bet they were embarrassed and probably upset to find out how Marsha actually acted and the circus she put on at Archie's expense. I wonder if they are still married. If so, we know who is wearing the pants in that family.

It's been my experience that the biggest weddings bring on the biggest dramas. There is the drama with the bride vs. her bridesmaids. The bride picked a zillion bridesmaids and expected them with their different body shapes to all wear a same design of a dress, hairdo, and shoes. Well, when you've got someone 4'11" and someone 6 feet tall, it's not all going to look alike. But oh well. Then there are the requests for the wedding guests to leave their kids at home. I guess it never occurred to some brides that their guests are really going into their own pockets to pay for attending by paying travel related costs such as airfare, taxi rides, hotel rooms, food, clothes for the wedding, hairdos, shoes, the bride's and groom's wedding gift, etc. And now they have to find someone to take care of their kids for a weekend. Well, it ain't free. They have to pay for it. Brides need to also remember that older wedding guests are on fixed incomes and other younger guests are busy paying mortgages, daycare costs, car payments, and other bills. So just because the bride is willing to pay "x" amount of money for a wedding doesn't mean that the wedding guests are. I guess that's why it would be cheaper for some would-be wedding guests to decline the invitation and just send a gift. It would be way cheaper.

I don't know where the whole concept of "It's My Day...I'll Do What I Darn Well Feel Like It!!!" weddings came from. I've heard older folks say that they got married after church service on Sunday. She wore her best dress and he his best suit. And it was over. Now that's the basics. And then I've heard others say that they had a nice, small church wedding years ago. But now we're onto the "It's My Day Darn It!!!" weddings. I know that folks won't agree with me calling this kind of behavior selfish, but really, what's more important? A day celebration or the marriage itself? I'd rather focus on trying to figure out whether this man is the right one for me and whether I'm the right woman for him. Maybe I'm just a little bit more practical.

Make It Last Forever...



One of the most beautiful weddings I've ever attended happened about 12 years ago. My friend and her fiance' wanted to get married but had no immediate plans for a while, because they thought that they could not afford to get married. People could clearly see that they were a couple. They almost resembled a married one if you didn't know already. So their pastor approached them about getting married and having the people of the church to donate their services for food and decorations. All my friend had to do was purchase her own dress and wedding cake. So you know it was on and popping from there. I promised to attend.

My friends' wedding took place on a Friday evening at their church. It was her second and his first. Her mother was her maid of honor and his father was his best man. Although they wore nice clothes, there were no over the top outfits worn. The church members did a beautiful job of decorating the church. And the church was packed. She was an hour late. Folks like her who don't normally wear make-up and fancy hairstyles have a hard time on days like this. Later on she said that she had a time trying to style her own her hair, but my friend reassured her fiance that she was coming. Yeah, he called her to make sure he wasn't getting stood up. And eventually, she came. As they were saying their vows, I remembered how precious their wedding was. It wasn't financially extravagant. They weren't trying to impress folks. They weren't trying to pretend to be someone they weren't. They were making a commitment in front of family and friends. My friends are just as much married as the folks who paid out close to $100,000 for their weddings. I just hope that if I ever get married, that I'll just have a small yet beautiful one. We'll use our money to put towards a nice house. That's the way I want to say, "I Do."

A Holiday Weekend Spent Couch Side...

Why Can't Tv Be Original???...

I hope everyone had an enjoyable holiday in which to honor the people serving in the military and those who lost their lives in battle. I won't get into the political issues related to the holiday, but as a person who has several family members who have served in the military, I will say that I support the troops. No comment on the war.

As for my weekend, I delighted myself in the art of "CouchPotatoIsm." I didn't quite park myself on the couch the whole time. I just thoroughly enjoyed just about any and every tv marathon on any channel. I don't know why folks stress themselves out over the holidays to travel to various places when they can stay at home and relax. One thing is for sure, the airlines and gas stations didn't get my money over the weekend, because I kept my shuttle (that's what I lovingly call my silver car) parked.

In between, watching the Run's House marathon (I love them), The Price Is Right (I Love Bob Barker), The Young and the Restless (Has Nick Actually Left The Show?), I came upon the Food Network. Bobby Flay was at it again with his competitive self. Remember him? He's the one who claimed to win the authentic Iron Chef show up against the Asian chefs who had been studying their culinary crafts for decades. So you know I ain't hardly believing he beat them. I think he cut a check to them, and they cut him the title. I come to believe that more and more when I see him on his little shows.

By the way, what ever happened to the original "Iron Chef Show?" After Bobby, the original show went by the wayside and was replaced with "Iron Chef America," which is a sad and pathetic version of the original. The old show had art. They'd take a live octopus and make it look like a beautiful dish by the end of the show. I wouldn't eat it, but the dish was looking quite pretty. Pretty counts. The new show also lacks class and style. Speaking of style, you can't tell me that Michael Jackson's hair and clothes stylists weren't taking notes from the Iron Chefs. The Iron Chefs can design for me anytime. *lol* I'm just saying.



We're Going To Need You To Sit Down For A Minute...

Bobby Flay, Bobby Flay, where should I start? Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to take his chef's title from him, because there probably is a market for his kind of food. But he isn't the "Iron Chef" of the world. And from time to time, I do enjoy watching some of his shows. What can I say? I just love watching the Food Network plain and simple. I find it along with the Home and Garden channel (HGTV) to be very comforting. But I had to sit up off of my comfy couch to say hold up and wait a minute to Bobby Flay initiating a challenge to a couple of Hot Dog Joint Experts in California and New York. One of the challengers was a hot dog joint in California called Pink's. They had been in operation since 1939. So once again, how in the world did Bobby think that he could make a better dog? Homeboy came out with a dog dressed with some avocado mixture.
*side eye glance*

What ever happened to originality? Why does his show come up with the most ridiculous ideas? Once, I believe he was trying to perfect the art of frying chicken. *another side eye glance* How is he going to come out on top against some old grandmas who have been frying yardbirds for 50 years? It ain't happening cap'n. If I see Bobby Flay and the Food Network come out with some more craziness, I'm going to have to cite them with a ticket and not watch them for a minute.

I'm running late for work. I've got to run. Have a great day!!!...

There She Goes Again....

Rosie's Can't Leave The View Fast Enough...

I'm not going to get into the political ramifications of the arguments behind what happened on The View yesteday. I will just tell you that the Bully Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck got into a heated debate. I usually don't agree with Elisabeth's political views at all, but I don't agree with the way she was treated. Rosie needs to "learn" how to attack the issues and not the people. One day she'll come into contact with someone who is her verbal equal or superior and then she'll know what it's like to be bullied. *lol* Perhaps, she has. Donald Trump is still joking on her.

Over the course of this year, Rosie has "initiated" attacks on Kelly Ripa, Donald Trump, the Asian community, and now her co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Rosie has done more damage to the show than Star Jones Reynolds ever did. But that goes to show that definitely what goes around comes around. TV execs and greasy Babs kicked Star out only to take on Rosie who shows no respect to anyone but herself. Who watches The View anymore anyway? I stopped watching it a few years ago. I only heard about this flap on the news. Stick a fork in The View. It's done!!!...

Update: Yesterday, ABC tv execs announced that Rosie asked to be let out of contract early, and the tv execs granted her request. A couple of entertainment news web sites unofficially reported that Rosie's assistant put mustaches on Elisabeth's pictures in the hall and that Rosie trashed her dressing room. ABC only confirmed that the mustaches were drawn. Is this junior high school all over again or what? Good riddance Rosie.

The Cubicle Chronicles: Part 5 - Why Me?

Office Drama: The Young And The Restless...

Howdy. More excuses. It's been a while since I posted something new. But since I can't really comfortably blog at work (they are watching our computer activities more closely) and since I'm time challenged in the morning to get to work, I don't blog as much. There's no excuse for me, but that's what I'm going with for now until I can craft a better lie. *hee hee* But anyways, this is what's up with me. In between work assignments and daily naps at work, I was dragged down at the bottom of the office whirlpool. I was minding my own business. And what was surprising is that I was one of the last ones to find out. Who knew? *Geesh*

Well Howdy...

See this is what had happened. I'm going to provide a little background information before I launch into the present situation. I don't know if anyone remembers in an old posting that an older co-worker had his eye on me some years ago. Again, I was one of the last to know. Well, I really didin't want to know if you know what I mean. It all started because I've got southern ways and a slightly southern twang of talking. And I'm proud of them. Where I'm from in North Carolina, we speak and wave and carry on. Just like that. We wave from porches and moving cars. It can get ridiculous. I don't do all that. But if you walk up on me, I'll smile and say, "Hi, how are doing today?" or something to that effect. I think there's nothing wrong with acknowledging someone's existence and saying something nice. It doesn't cost anything to be nice, right? Well, it shouldn't. I greet my co-workers the same way. And if they wish to carry on a longer conversation, many times I will oblige, although I really don't want to judging from some of their mental states at times. Too bad I didn't cut off my communications with the old dude.

It all started because of another co-worker came over to my cubicle to invite me and some other co-workers to a toy party. She went on to explain what "sensual products" would be sold there in great detail. That's when that old dude's antenna went up. Being the good worker that I am (*lol*), I didn't have much to say in the conversation. I just listened and declined the invitation politely, since I knew a couple of unconfirmed perverts who might be attending. No thanks. But from that point on, my old male co-worker started paying me way too much attention.

Why Me???...

I'm a free-willed person who doesn't like to be bothered. I'm not a hermit. I speak to people and have friends, but I can't stand for someone to try to control me or try to manipulate my movements to serve their special purposes. Let me explain. What I started to notice was that my co-worker was listening to my phone calls. How do I know? He told me so. His cubicle was beside mine. And as soon as I would hang up, he'd get up and start a conversation about my last phone call. Ain't that a blip? He was watching me from his boss' office during meetings and would tell me what he saw me doing then. Another male co-worker told me that every time he would visit me, that old Puerto Rican guy in the cubicle next to mine would be looking at me and the other co-worker. That was embarrassing, because other people started to notice. He'd peep over the 6 foot tall cubicle walls. He told me that he knew where I parked my car. Before, I bought my place, he wanted to know how much I paid in rent. He'd ask co-workers why I wasn't speaking to him. And he would try to figure out when I was leaving for the day so that he could join me. When he noticed that I was ignoring him, he'd come to my cubicle and demand that I see him by the end of the day. Nope, I didn't.

I really don't know how things escalated to this point, because we only used to talk about politics and socio-economic stuff. Doesn't it seem like the more you try to avoid someone or something, the more that person or the thing will seek you out? He tried to talk about more personal things, but I'd always steer the conversation away, because I'm a very private person and don't discuss my personal business in the office. Anyhoo, I finally got fed up with his stalker-like ways and asked my supervisor if I could move my cubicle away to a more quieter aisle so that I could concentrate better. From there, things seemed to have calmed down for a few years.

Slow Your Roll...

Well recently in the last month, a co-worker noticed that another co-worker had started rolling her eyes at me. I knew nothing of it, because I mind my own business and go about my own way totally oblivious to some things. The next time I walked down the hall, indeed, Miss Older Thing (50 something) was rolling her eyes at me. Usually eyerolling is done by the younger sistas. This woman isn't either. I guess she thought she'd gesture to me in a way "she thought" I would understand. Nope. But I was wondering why? Apparently, she started dating the old Don Juan (55-60 something year old) and either he told her something about me or someone in the office may have mentioned that he liked me (was obsessed sickly with me) a few years ago. Last week, after all her eye rolling and stomping by my cubicle, my devil's advocate appeared. Some convincing arguments were made. This is what it said:

Evil Zee: Hey you, Miss EyeRoller. Over here. Yeah, I'm talking to you.
Miss EyeRoller: Huh? Are you talking to me?
Evil Zee: What did I just say? Are you hard of hearing or just dumb?
Miss EyeRoller: **Rolling Eyes Three Times**
Evil Zee: Cow, roll your eyes all you want. Cuz, I can "snatch" your man away from you at any given time and throw him back to you when I'm finish. But there's only one problem. I DON"T WANT HIM AND NEVER DID. So please take your weak man and roll!!!...


Back Life, Back To Reality...

Well, it's a good thing that I actually don't think or speak that way. The sweet real me has chosen not to dignify this situation unless called upon to do so. If Miss Older Thing gets to be too much, I'll politely pull her to the side and tell her that she has nothing to worry about, because I'm not interested in her man. Therefore, their office romance can flourish. Ain't I so nice?


P.S. Princess Dominique: Why are you picking on my comeback news post? *lol* Those are the easiest to put together. You don't miss a thing. You caught onto my tricks. *lol* Princess, Luke and Monica I promise to do better. Girlscouts honor. *Trying to make the sign*

Another King Has Passed Away...

Yolanda Denise King

November 17, 1955 - May 15, 2007

Ms. Yolanda D. King, the eldest of the children born to the late Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Coretta Scott King, passed away at the age of 51 on Tuesday night. When I first heard about this news story early this morning on the radio, I wondered whether the stress of her mother's death got to be too much for her and took its toll on her health. Lady, rest in peace.

See This Is What Had Happened...

That's My Story And I'm Sticking To It...

I took a short break from blogging in April. I left comments on other folks' blogs. But I haven't posted anything new recently, however, I sure had enough material to work with. Guess who had a birthday? All kinds of crazy stuff was happening to me in the office. My name got sucked into a love triangle. I've got to tell you all about that. It wasn't good at all. *Balling Up Face* But anyhoo, I was thinking of giving my blog a much needed redesign in a few weeks. I just haven't decided what direction it will take. But Luke Cage and Princess, I promise to provide more regular postings. Really. *lol*

Spring Cleaning: Friendships...

Let's Make A Clean Sweep...

Just last week as I was getting ready for work, the C.BS morning news show was discussing spring cleaning. But not the kind that gets our households all fresh, tidy, and organized. They were discussing when and how to get rid of useless friends like an old pair of shoes. They made it sound so methodical and easy when we know that it's easier said than done. Or at least that's the case for me.

I've always been the low key friend. I don't usually initiate friendships and I don't dominate them for the most part either, but it doesn't bother me. I don't particularly have to have a best friend. And I'm not the kind who'll get jealous if there are 3 friends and 2 of them are closer than I am. It's always been said that from the time I was a little kid that I was somewhat of a loner. Not totally though. I would quietly play alone, but if a kid came over and introduced him or herself to me, we'd be friends.

The same thing still happens to me as an adult. I remember my first real job with my current employer. I was so nervous my first day of work just as I was my first day of high school and college. So, I sat alone at my desk. I would say hi and goodbye, but I didn't really initiate any real conversations. I didn't know what to say. But then one day a couple of guys in the office dropped by and initiated a conversation, and from then I started to settle into my job better. Those two people turned out to mean so much to me as they became my mentors since I was young enough to be everyone's daughter in the office. I still care a lot about the one who works at the headquarters with me but in another office. And it hurt so painfully when the other died of a stroke about 9 years ago. Friends like those are priceless. But then there are the others.

There's always a flip side to everything. The flip side of great friendships are the awful ones. And for some reason I seem to get along with men better. With women, there are some who always want to compete and have the last word, which I really don't have time for. But with guys, once we get to an understanding that our friendship is platonic, it seems that I'm better able to discuss almost anything with them. And at the moment, I can't think of any time that I had to get rid of a friendship with a guy.

I rarely cut folks off. I've only done it two times. But sometimes we got to do what we got to do. Check this out. Back when I first moved to the DC area, a guy I knew put me in contact with a sorority sister. I didn't know her, but the guy thought that since all of us weren't from the area, we should all be friends. He cursed like a sailor, but he had a heart of gold. :0 My soror was a little more of a pain. In the beginning of the friendship everything was cool. So I thought. But as her relationship began to sour with her boyfriend, she would talk my ear off for hours about how wrong he was (even when he wasn't). But anytime, I felt like discussing my struggles and strifes in life she'd only have 5 minutes to discuss/solve them so that we could get back to discussing her dramas. The things she couldn't articulate to her boyfriend were directed at me. So I just cut things off when I heard enough of her talk about being jealous of her boyfriend's child from another woman. Perhaps, that was new territory for me at the time when I was in my early 20s. But I maintain my position. No new girlfriend/boyfriend needs to try to keep a parent away from his or her child from a previous relationship. There were some other issues such as having me to drive to all the rough places where the security wasn't so great and the issue of inviting me to social functions with a promise of a ride only to be left. But anywho. I kicked that friendship to the curb.

A few years later, I found myself in another friendship fiasco. I started a new job in a new office. As usual, my friends tend to be a little older than I am for some reason. So, when I met a Christian friend at work, I thought everything was cool. So, I thought again. The friendship started fine. But this person has a problem with her friends being friends with folks she doesn't like. So, if she was being catty with someone I didn't have a problem with, I'd simply walk away. And later, I realized she was jealous of anyone else I spoke well of. Once I revealed that one of our co-workers was a true Christian woman. The true Christian lady wasn't in folks faces perpetrating a front. She demonstrated her ways simply by being fair and not looking down on folks. If you had a problem, she wouldn't make you feel bad. But "The So-Called Friend" was a trip. The moment you'd speak well of someone would be the same time she'd begin to talk trash about them. She'd talk about folks having kids out of wedlock, while she totally forgot that she wasn't married when she conceived her first child. It's a wonder how I could stand those constant contradictions for at least a year. I was fed up. So I broke off the friendship althogether abruptly. I honestly wasn't trying to be mean. I just couldn't take it anymore. I rather be friendless than be hemmed up by someone else's ways.

The two mentioned friendship dropkicks were extreme cases. I'm at a point of trying to remember that there are great friendships that still exist. And I've got to remember that friendships hold a special place in our lives as we cannot be an island unto ourselves. I need to see that on a flash card.

She Hit A Snag And Unraveled Part 2...

Do Some People Get A Free Pass???...

Well, I've got a few minutes to type a few things before I get ready for work. I've been wanting so badly to comment on my fellow bloggers' blogs, but I can't at work. Uncle Leroy is scoping us. So, I'll have to get back with you all when I get back home. Blogging will be a home activity. Boy, did I have fun typing under the name of Aunt Lula on the C.runk and D.isorderly blog. Those were the days. *sigh*

Now back to this whole female astronaut situation about her crushing and losing it over a man. More information has leaked out since the story first broke. It turns out she is recently separated, the mother of 3 children, a decorated officer of the Navy, and has a long list of friends and colleagues who have been going to bat for her to protect her reputation and career. They say that she was suffering from mental anquish, which caused her to act out of character. Read here ==> New Justification

Hmm. I somewhat have a problem with all of this. Why? Because the media somewhat failed to cover other perspectives. I feel sorry for her children. Just imagine what they have to go through at school. And we know how mean kids can be. The school bullies definitely won't live down the whole diaper bit. So, when planning this whole premeditated evident, I wonder whether the female astronaut ever thought about the consequences and ramifications her kids would have to deal with. Imagine how her separated husband may feel. He's the one who will have to explain to their kids what happened. And most importantly, what about the woman (another military officer) who was being targeted for being maimed or killed? When she sees how folks are praising the female astronaut on tv and in newspapers, I wonder how she feels about knowing that woman came to do her in. Shux, she could have been hog-tied in the back of that astronaut's car trunk. Does anyone realize the seriousness of this?

And one more thing, when it ever comes to a love triangle, why does the woman have to go after the other woman? This is so very predictable and pathetic. I get tired of hearing about it. She claims that she only wanted to talk to the man's possible love interest (the other woman). Okay, with all of her smarts, why didn't she just pick up the freaking phone or send an email. Getting maps to someone's home and the police witnessing you throwing pepper spray, a rope, and a knife out of your car, does suggest that you knew what you were doing. People have suggested that the man should have to answer for this, but I differ in opinion. If he was the one intending on kidnapping someone, he should be under scrutiny. But on this, I believe this "married" woman should have to deal with the consequences of "her" actions. If you can't hang with those weird/strange/different relationship setups (love triangles, swinging, the ole switch-aroo, etc.), get out of it plain and simple. Don't deal with it. She's not the first one to be cheated on and won't be the last. But really, was she really cheated on? Separated still means married.

Perhaps, the female astronaut did snap. But why should she be given a free pass or a fast rush to judgment that she's suffering from mental anquish (preparing to get her off the hook)? Had it been a woman who didn't have such as big and lofty profession, you know, a common every day person or someone like you and me, I bet we wouldn't be receiving any freebies. We'd be still sitting up at the big house after being denied bail. I'm just saying. *shrug*

Then She Hit A Snag And Unraveled...

An Astronaut Possibly Threw Her Career Away Over A Love Triangle...

In the words of the famous wicked witch from the "Wizard of Oz" after the water was thrown on her, "What A World???...What A World???" What am I talking about? Let me give you the run down. A female astronaut, who went on a shuttle mission last year, was recently arrested after trying to kidnap a woman who was possibly involved with her boyfriend, another astronaut. When they arrested her, they say that she was wearing a diaper, which astronauts wear at take off and re-entry. *Insert Strange Look* (Side Note: I always wondered how astronauts handled that restroom issue at launch. Shux, driving on the highway with a bunch of idiots who amazingly got their licenses can get a little tricky and make folks think about wearing a diaper. Hmph. I'm just saying...) They figure that she wanted to drive from Houston, TX to Orlando, FL without stopping for a bathroom break. Well aint that a blip folks? Ole girl got all frazzled enough to don a wig and a trench coat to take out the third angle of the triangle. What happened? Read about it here ==> Astronaut Snaps

In case folks don't know, NA.SA's astronaut program is a very, very, very, extremely selective one that screens folks for everything,including mental illness. Most of the astronauts have credentials out the wazoo and out of this world. Many are high level doctors and scientists with many years of experience. Most seem to be in their 40's. I guess folks would have thought folks would have had it (mental wherewithall) together by then. So, I wonder how this woman slipped through the cracks. Last year, she was heralded as a vital team member who operated the mechanical arm of the shuttle and was possibly working on the space station. Come on folks. When a relationship goes sour, we have to pick ourselves up and go on without slapping on a diaper and a wig over some revenge mess. Just pig out on ice cream and pizza for one weekend and be over it by the next week like everybody else. *Phew* I just don't know. I just hope that they provide this woman with the help that she needs, because that wasn't normal.

Congratulations To The Indianapolis Colts!!!...

It's Been A Long Time Coming...But History Was Made!!!...

Last night, history was made on many levels. I remember older men telling me of a time when "colored folk" weren't allowed to play in the football and baseball leagues with whites. We played in our own leagues. And when we were allowed to finally play under integrated circumstances, we still were treated like second class citizens. We were heckled and booed by folks in the stands until our talent shut the audience up. Then we were limited to playing on the field, while the coach jobs, front office, and owner status were left off limits. But last night hopefully indicates that things are a changing. We had two black coaches and their teams to make it to the Super Bowl. Although Tony Dungy and the Colts won last night, Lovie Smith and his Chicago Bears are also winners, because both the friends Dungy and Smith proved that we could do it with a tremendous amount of class and humilty. Thank you for lighting the way for the others who will come behind you.






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Aside from the game, did anyone see Prince's half-time performance? He Still Has It...

Drats, I've Caught A Cold...

High Tea Time...

Your resident procrastinator is back to add another entry to the old blog. I meant to update before now but I couldn't decide on a new blog theme. With the big to do about the new beta version of blogger, I think they forgot to add some new blogger themes. I really don't feel like building a page, but whatever. In addition to my persistent procrastination, I've been dealing with a cold that just won't stop. Believe me. I've done everything in my power to prevent catching a cold, since I seem to keep barking (coughing) for at least 2 weeks after initially getting the sniffles. I'm that kind of person who will get on your nerves with my constant handwashing and my supply of handwipes, disinfectant cleaners, etc. But how effective can this all be when the guards at my job are required to touch every employee's photo badge at the gate? That's about a few thousand, and you know someone had to have had the cooties. Whatever the case, I'll be back coughing (it sounds like a german shepherd's bark) at work tomorrow after taking off a couple of days.

Between sneezes, coughs, and other nasty cold-related stuff, I did manage to watch enough tv. And from the comforts of home over the weekend, I was able to watch a fellow blogger get married via a webcast. It was absolutely beautiful. I didn't have to buy a dress or get all dolled up. *lol* I just sat in front of my computer screen feeling happy for the bride and groom. Ain't love grand? Of course it is. Now if it can ever happen to me, that would be super duper fantabulous times ten decimal point 50.

But this is what's really on my mind. Have you ever felt like you've been called to do something? Were you ever able to determine whether the calling was self-motivated or spiritually communicated to you in such a way that only you could understand it? I haven't been able to find the answer yet. Don't you hate how vague my posts can be sometimes? What specifics? Well, I can never be too sure who is reading my blog. *shrug*

The Flack With Op.rah...

How Could Charity Go Wrong???...Isn't That A Good Thing???...

Happy New Year and all the jazz to everyone! I hope that the New Year is treating everyone well so far. I didn't get a chance to make out a list of resolutions. I heard and read all over the place how other people declare that they don't make resolutions, so that they won't have to break them and how silly resolutions are. Blah, blah, blah. I believe in the "to each his own " approach. Whatever works. Procrastinators like me need to clearly outline goals, milestones, and achievement dates. Otherwise nothing would get done. We've got to start somewhere, right? But oh well. I've got about 5 or 10 minutes to type this entry. So bear with me.

The Beginning of The Flap...

Okay. Now onto the flap about Op.rah's school In short, by now many of you may have heard about the multi-million dollar school Op.rah set up in South Africa to educate girls. The school opened with a lot of fanfare, media, and stars who came out to support Op.rah and her cause. Over the years, I've commented on Op.rah's actions. Frankly, I think she landed on her face with the whole "A Mi.llion Little Pieces" fiasco with James Fr.ey. And I really don't care for the fact that she sometimes goes around telling people that white women work for her with the exception of one black woman (probably not Gayle). What's the point of that? She doesn't want us working for her or what? *insert annoyed facial expression*

But in all fairness, I try to keep an open mind and "judge/comment on" (whatever you want to call it) her actions on a case by case basis. And my verdict is that I don't see anything wrong with her helping poor students in another country. Why not? The continent of Africa has been continuously raped and stolen from via slavery and colonialism. Some of the people there are struggling under some really horrible conditions. Many of the girls picked to attend Op.rah's school are orphans because their parents died of diease. They don't have the necessities. Clothes are in short supply. And many don't know where their next meal is coming from. So, if Op.rah wants to take her own money and finance a school, why are some folks here in the U.S. crying foul?

The Badmouthing Begins...

Well according to some folks like Linda Sta.si of the New Y.ork Post, Sta.si feels that Op.rah made a huge mistake in not building the school in the U.S. As Sta.si puts it, charity should start at home and not in the place of one's ancestors. *triple huh?* Then she went onto talk about how her grannies or great grannies got on a boat from Italy to come to America to make a better life. I guess somewhere down the line or in the middle of the Atlantic ocean someone forgot to give this cow a History book to let her know that most black folks' ancestors didn't have a choice in coming here. There was that thing called slavery, which later gave way jim crow laws, which begot subtle racism that still exists today in that folks like this chick still don't the understand the ramifications of it all. And nobody, do you hear me???, nobody should ever get out here trying to compare their hardships to ours in an attempt to chastise us about our choices. If Ms. Sta.si disagrees with Op.rah's decision, then Ms. Sta.si can very well raise her own money and do with it what she sees fit minus the flapjacking of her mouth. But let me just say that Ms. Sta.si possibly could have had some merit to her discussion if she didn't have such a nasty attitude.

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due...

While I'm no Oprah-bot serving a high position in a Pope-rah fan club, I have to admit that her school project is an excellent one. Just think about the impact that the school is going to have on the the South African nation as a whole and the lives of the young people who hail from some really modest backgrounds. They'll be free to explore a whole new world, which may include a new love for reading and a feeling that anything is possible if they can dream it. Forgive me, but I just get all excited about education and all of the possibilities. I sincerely hope that their outcomes far exceed our expectations.

On the flip side, I have to admit that I had to frown my eyebrows a bit when O.prah told the media that she didn't build the school in the U.S., because the poor kids here aren't serious about education and that they only wanted i.pods or something to that effect. Then later, when asked the same question, she admonished herself for using such a broad brush when referring to American kids. But in hindsight, Op.rah's probably thinking that she should have just said that she wanted to build the school in South Africa and left things at that and not mentioned the U.S. I somewhat disagree with her. I believe that we all have the capacity to help the kids in Africa and in the U.S. , because I hate dichotomies. Why does everything have to be about "Eithers" and "Ors". Why not "Ands?" The kids from both countries are poor, but in different ways. The kids in South Africa may be poor financially, while the kids in the U.S. may be poor morally (by no fault of their own) because of the overall materialistic/money driven culture that we live here and that Op.rah is a part of (she is a brand name). With that said, rich kids are equally asking for the i.pods instead of uniforms and extra books. So although I'm in disagreement with O.prah to certain extent, I can't totally condemn her. The woman did step up to the plate and make a school come into fruition for some kids who need it. I just want to encourage her to not give up on the American poor kids.

Okay, I'm officially late for work. I've got to run. I'll clean up the typos later.

Happy Holidays...

"Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is this day, in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."
- Luke: 2:10, 11

It's just about that time for me to hitch my sleigh to Rudolph and head down south to good ole North Carolina to spend the holidays with family and friends. But before I go I would like to thank the following bloggers (those who read my blog and the owners of the blogs I read) for making this year a great one: Princess Dominique, Luke Cage, Artist Greggy, SP, ShellyP, Melette, Nikki, Sagaciously, Harpo, Neenalove, Soror Xquizzyt1, Soror Call2Arms, EJFlavors, Simply Schatzi, *RPM*, Honest, CreoleInDC, LivingSingle, Miz JJ, Pamalicious, Field Negro, Margaret, A Diva In Scrubs (Where are you?), Cru.nk and D.isorderly, Tam, KoolBreeze, the lurkers, and many others. If I made a mistake and left someone out, just know that I didn't mean to. Everyone have a great and safe holiday!!!...

Rosie and The Do.nald Tango..

Tiz The Season To Not Keep One's Fat Trap Closed... *Snicker*

Rosie can't seem to stay out of the middle of controversy. About a month ago, Rosie had some stiff words for Kelly R.ipa, because Kelly complained about Cl.ay Aiken placing his hand over her mouth when he guest hosted the Re.gis and Kelly Show. Rosie mentioned something about Kelly's statement being a slap to the g.ays, although Clay has opted to not discuss his gender preferences. So in a sense, Rosie took it upon herself to get in someone else's business when it wasn't her place. Then a couple of weeks ago, Rosie's mouth was off to the races. Her mouth went off namely on the Asian race when she pretended to be talking in an asian language using the words ching chong. That display was downright tacky, disrespectful, and racist.

Now Rosie has ruffled the fragile coiffed mane of the Donald enough for him to threaten to sue her for the fun of it. At issue is Rosie's reaction to the Donald's decision to give another chance to the current reigning Miss U.SA after she was found to be engaging in inappropriate behavior that involved underage drinking, taking drugs, and some other things (if you know what I mean). Things took a turn for the ugly. Rosie questioned the Donald's morals (marital cheating) and then went on to ridicule his hair and his financial savvy (filing for bankruptcy a while back). The Donald shot back calling her fat and a slob among other things before threatening to sue her. Oh what a tangled web we weave. *shrug*

I bet Star is off somewhere smirking. Babs, are you sure you made the right decision to can Star and hire Rosie? I think that thing about Karma is really true.

What Christmas Shopping???...

Ch...Ch..Ch..Ch.ia... *lololol*...

To all the folks who are finished Christmas shopping, I bid a big fat so what. *lol* Yeah, I'm jealous. And as president of the Procrastinators Association, I pledge to complete my shopping by Friday and next year to do a better job. I hope. Yeah right. But seriously, where did the time go? Wasn't it just summer a little while ago? Nevertheless, my back is up against the wall trying finish everything (shopping, projects at work, applying for more new jobs, washing clothes, etc.) by Friday. Shux, I just mailed out my Christmas cards yesterday. I just hope my friends out in Hawaii receive theirs by Christmas or within the week of Christmas. Back to the Christmas gifts, fortunately for me, the people receiving my gifts never require anything expensive. Our approach is that we don't want anyone going into deep debt behind holiday shopping. It just takes time to select the books or music that I think they'll like. I just like to give people gifts to show my appreciation. So, I guess giving Ch.ia pets to everyone is out of the question, huh? *lol* Well, in the wee hours of the morning the commercial made them seem so ...so...so half way decent. Who wouldn't want to receive a Shaggy Ch.ia pet? *weak smile*

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As for my computer usage at work, my job hasn't totally put a stop to us employees surfing the net. They put out a memo explaining some things. Plus, I've noticed that they reboot our machines a lot lately (every night) letting me know that they are up to something like loading some tracking software. Just last week, I got a warning page on the net after trying to access Sea.world's Sha.mu page. I wanted to see which one body slammed it's keeper underwater. I was innocent, but not Sha.mu.

However, I can somewhat understand my job's IT folks' actions, because of my co-workers have gotten so ridiculous and abusive with their web activities that they've made it bad for those of us who are doing harmless surfing. I'm surprised at how many people don't know what's inappropriate. Folks were trying to run their side businesses at their jobs and downloading some really risque pictures on the job site. Triple tisk on them. I still frequent news websites like CNN, Yah.oo News, the Wa.shington Post, and a few other safe blogs, but my days of visiting Cr.unk and D.isorderly at work are over. I just make sure I visit those kinds of sites when I get home. *hee hee*

Well, I've got to get ready for work (the con.centration camp).

The Cubicle Chronicles: Part 4...

It's About To Get Testy In The Beehive...

Howdy everyone. I know that it's been awhile since I've posted an entry. Instead of announcing that I'm going to end my blog like other folks do, I don't permanently abandon my blog. I just come back later when I feel like it. *lol* But seriously, I apologize for taking such a long break. But here is what's up. I don't blog as much anymore, because my employer is watching the online movements of its employees. They're all up in our business. In the words of Whitney Houston, "Didn't we almost have it all?" Shux, the blogging was the thing that kept me awake at work. So, I'll be blogging from home from now on. *shrug*

Now onto the beehive...For a while I've been talking about the set up on my job. In case you're new to my blog or need a refresher, I've been working for an office that refuses to promote me, but heavily depends on me to handle their tricky tasks. Last week, we began the beginning of a new evaluation period. So the somewhat new managers (my former line co-workers), called me in to let me know that my detail to another office would not be extended and that they will need me to return to their office (it aint mine) in January, because of the mountain of work they are handling. I'd really love to care, but I don't after 10 freaking years... *sigh*


Pay Back...This Time It's For Real....

I just love that Ge.ic.o commercial....I just wanted to say that. Knowing fully well that my meeting was coming up really was a total drag last week. I haven't returned phonecalls and emails. I'm so ashamed. There's no way that the meeting could happen without some kind of drama. As I purchased my Christmas cards at the grocery store, I was thinking how this year's worth (actually 10 years) of mess on my job was wrecking my flow with the holdiay season. I'm just not in the mood this year, although I've made it my business to buy every piece of holiday candy and cookies I could get my hands on. But with the way things are going for me, the cookies are still sitting in the box for week 2. I thought I wanted them.

Leading up to the meeting, I just couldn't help feeling bad about the way that office has used me over the years. I've been through thick and thin with them. I've been there along the way with every supervisors' agendas, initiatives, and pet projects. I've been a project officer, web person, and policy writer to suit the work. But the noneducated folks with absolutely no experience-having folks have risen in my organization in such a ridiculous manner. Typically, they are the kissups. I'm not. I don't bring any coffee cake, and I don't inject side show clown laughter at jokes that aren't funny. I'm about the business and take on a more academic approach to my position.

Shut up, Already!!!...

After being away from my division for most of the year, the new supervisors are practically groveling at my feet, which I find to be totally disgusting. They've finally come to the realization that I wrote a significant number of the formal/informal decisions and now need me to help their sinking Titanic of an office . But I've told them to not cry for me Argentina, because I've got other plans.

I must admit that I shamelessly manipulated last week's meeting. I determined when it started, what would be discussed, how long the meeting lasted, and when it ended. Passive/aggressiveness really does work. Try it sometime. I know they hated that crap. But hey, after 10 freaking years, I reserve the right to manuever things to my advantage. My strategy was to say very little. Besides, what can they tell me after all this time? Telling the truth would be too much like right for them. They promoted other folks according to favoritism and nepotism over the years at my expense, and now is a time of reckoning. The folks promoted over me haven't ever seen the inside of college classroom or spent time in anybody's army, but they were related to someone on the job. Oh, and did I fail to mention that they very rarely promote us (blacks, hispanics, asians)? Also, during the course of this year the managers allowed a co-worker to steal the reg text that I wrote last year. They (the backstabbing group and not I) received an award for the project, which included my work. I would not have ever known this fact if other people outside of my office hadn't made me aware of it. Oh well. So much for being used.


Mad.Max Zee Beyond ThunderDome...

So, I ask again. What else could my supervisors say to me? Nothing. Yeah, they had two supervisors tagteaming/handling me like I was about to go off and catch a case of the angry black woman's disease. But I flipped the script. I stayed calm and measured my words very carefully. And I proceeded to deliver my message in 2 to 3 sentences, which caught them off guard. I think they probably had rehearsed how to handle me, but were thrown off by my stealth succinct strategy. They weren't going to catch me out here rambling. So they scrambled around trying to draw me into conversation to discuss every little thing that was done wrong to me. I declined. I simply stated that we're at a place and time where things have gone too far for too long and conversation at this point would be moot. Besides, I asked again what could they possibly have to say to me, which left them clearly struggling for several minutes while I looked on in steely silence. After growing tired of their hemming and hawing and failed attempts to take control of the meeting, I announced the end of the meeting. How you like me now? Then they announced that they were very disappointed that things would have to end this way. I tried to express an "I care" look. It didn't work. My transparent self couldn't seem to shake the scowl that's been plastered on my face for a couple of years. So I thanked them for their time, gathered my things, and left. Imagine a sister version of Mommie Dearest in the Pepsi Cola meeting scene. That was me. "It's not my first time at the rodeo show!!!..."

"Whew Times 10"....

That whole meeting performance left me drained. I could have gotten liquored up after that, but I remembered that I never drank. I don't even drink wine; got any recommendations? I wouldn't even know what to buy. So, I went home and had a refeshing cup of cola. With that whole fiasco over with, I'm at a point of deciding what I should do with my career. I'm totally making myself responsible for my own career moves. I will never be loyal like that to another organization again enough to always put their goals above and beyond mine. I've learned a huge lesson and gotten hurt in the process. But next year, I plan to start new and fresh. I'll have to learn to forgive and forget so that I can live my life more abundantly. I've applied to other jobs and I'm back into thinking about how to approach the grad school endeavor. I just talked a good game there. We''ll just have to see if I have what it takes to walk out on faith.

Well, I've got to run along to work now. But I'm going to try to post a few more entries before Christmas. Plus, I'm thinking about doing a blog redesign for next year. I just get tired of my blog looking like everyone elses. And I'm not even going to go into how much I'm not feeling this beta version of blogger. Blah!!!. Well, I'm off. Totally... *lol*

Happy Thanksgiving...

Everyone Have A Safe And Great Holiday!!!

As we all prepare to travel or stay home to give thanks to the Lord, I just wanted to type this brief blog entry to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving Holiday!!! I said the same thing last year, but I want to add one more thing. In the spirit of giving, if you are hosting a dinner and are aware of someone who may be lonely this time of the year, please think about inviting them over to let them know that someone cares.

Michael Ri.chards, Here We Go Again...

Jerry: Mikey's So Freaking Broken Up Over This...

Well, most folks know now about the incident where Michael R.ichards became upset with a couple of hecklers (two black men) and began shouting racials slurs at them. If memory serves me correctly, all comedians who are on the ropes doing a terrible job on stage have been heckled at one time or another. That goes with the territory. That's the very reason comedians can't be sensitve little chumps when audience members find their jokes not to be funny. Nevertheless, Mikey should have never come out the mouth shouting the "n" word and talking about 50 years ago those black hecklers would have been hanged from a tree. See for yourself at TM.Z: ==> Mikey Gets Caught In The Act.

Mikey and Jerry appeared on the Letter.man show administering some industrial strength damage control. But Mikey came short of delivering a real apology, and of course didn't stand up before the people he offended to show any type of sincerity. He said something about being sickened by his own words and at the same time proclaimed not to be a racist. Well, if racist slurs were never on his mind, it would never come out of his mouth, right? Shux, I'm just a firm believer of what people say is what they "really" mean.

I'm not really shocked by any of this, since I grew up in the South where slave shacks still stand, where the k.kk still burn crosses, and where some white people still proudly hang con.federate flags on their homes. That's why I'm not some Kumbaya person believing that everything is free and equal. I keep things in perspective. All folks aren't racist, but there is a hefty chunk of those out there who are. By the way, when will the "n" word become obsolete? No time soon. Don't hold your breath.

Well that's my rant for today. I have to get ready for work. Keep your head up!!!...